[verse1] I am a professional asian dad specializing in emotional damage I have a failure living in my house As good test subject for new strategies (Educating children - very important!) No Doctor not a lawyer Useless to all family His anxiety won't let him go to employer Because it would be a catastrophe [pre-chorus] (Seriously, you could work at starbucks. give your father 50% discount, you know. At least you wouldn't be so useless!) [verse2] I have raised a failure that doesn't want to leave the house Useless in studies and career choice But at least he don't do drugs! (waste of money.) No matter how traumatized I get him It's like talking to a brick wall (Stoobid!) All he can do with room temperature IQ is make useless videos and play stoobid games! (you not even good for E-Sport. Why bother?) [chorus] Emotional damage! Emotional damage! Emotional damage! Emotional damage! Emotional damage! Emotional damage! (Seriously, He have it so easy! Back in my day, I use to walk to school 20 miles uphill both ways. without legs! They weren't invented yet!) [verse3] Every time I walk in his room I see strange stuff everywhere Even his fifth PlayStation is disguised as a broom And his desktop wallpaper is... HAAA? Hey Siri, call the Beijing Embassy We have a motha sakura catashrophy Siri why Steven not married yet? Siri, can a parent force his child to pay rent? (At least this give him some motivation...) [bridge] And there is my neighbor Always showing off his son He can dance, he can confuse, he can bend reality True that my son is not as good as him But, my dear friend, Steven can cook rice! [chorus] Emotional damage! Emotional damage! Emotional damage! Emotional damage! Emotional damage! Emotional damage! [drop] [outro] ( By the way, you want some Beijing Corn? I open new factory not far from here... I give discount!)