Verse 1 This is true story Of great Soviet hero His name Oleg Antonov He is retarded brother Of Dimitri Antonov ... Dimitri Antonov is decorated Kay-jee-bee Officer One winter morning Dimitri mother She say please look after brother Take him to office Mama Has need for vodka And soak her swollen feet Verse 2 So Dimitri bring Oleg to Kay-jee-bee office He show him what big brother do... But he have important meeting With Commander And Oleg He wander off He go for stroll on Moscow streets And he stop to look at ducks at dee park In front of you-ess embassy Mmm hmm mhmm mmm mm hmm Hm hm hm hm hm Chorus Oleg Oleg Where did you go Oleg Oleg I have meeting with Commander Oleg oleg You dee fucking bain of my existence Verse 3 In the park, with the ducks and the pond There is a man Sitting on bench reading newspaper He say to Oleg- do you know what is time? Oleg is good boy so he say to him- I don't have watch because Oleg Wrist too big for watch And that just happen to be SECRET CODE PHRASE! He handed Oleg envelope! A treasure trove of juicy secrets Like... Plans for nuclear missile, energy beam and you-eff-ohs Coca cola secret recipe Also doctor pepper naked photos of Ronald Reagan Poison tipped are-pee-gee Alka Seltzer with extra fizz, Laser weapon, that make you jizz Chorus Oleg Oleg You made your way back Oleg Oleg So happy make me cry Oleg oleg Now you big-shot super-spy! Verse 4 I go down to lobby Take a guess what i see My retarded brother Oleg He is happy boy! I see Commander Doing traditional Russian-happy-dance With my Retarded brother Oleg Then Commander stop celebration (Everyone very quiet) He say I have statement to make: Oleg! He in charge now! Dimitri! Now you are now...... Retarded brother! [Outro] Chorus Oleg Oleg Oleg You are naughty boy Oleg Oleg Oleg So happy make me cry Oleg Oleg Oleg Now you big-shot super-spy! I go down to lobby People celebrating Retarded fucking Oleg He is happy boy! (Hey!) I see Commander He is also happy boy He doing traditional Russian-happy-dance With my Retarded brother Oleg Then Commander stop celebration And he make speech: He say: I have statement to make: Oleg the retarded happy boy! He in charge now of this Kay-gee-bee department Dimitri! Dimitri! Run home to your mother Because now you have become: Retarded brother! [Outro] Hmm hmm boo be boopy boo La La loddy da Zippy Skippy do! He's A Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Boy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Boy Happy Happy Boy! [Brief Instrumental outro]