Three Tattoos

[melodic instrumental] [verse] [Deep resonant baritone] Met a crazy girl in a bar East Texas Shiner Bock, Jack an Coke soon affect us Had sex back a’ some stranger's Lexus Had to have the local fuzz eject us [chorus] Hook up, check Look cool, check Got a tattoo of her on my neck Two months done Think she’s the one Didn’t know what I was in for Son [verse] She was fine, crazy as a shit-house bat Pick a fight, then at night go all hell-cat I was fine with it married in no time flat Reception hall needed full hazmat [chorus] Hitched up, yes Wore my vest Got a tattoo of her on my chest Six months down Start the countdown Two tickets to Crazy Town [Lengthy harmonic 2 guitar solo] [verse] She surprised me with a trip to Tijuana Got there it was hotter than Satan’s sauna Drank too much an’ smoked some o’ dat mare-ih-wanna Passed out in a cab I shouldn’t ought’a [chorus] Woke up sick One dumb hick Had a tattoo, her name on my dick Hurt like hell I start to yell Her laughing went and broke the spell [2 Telecaster solo, angry] Break-up done Drive a half ton Take pain pills but JUST the WHITE ones ‘Neath my solar plexus no more ink codexes Stay sober and the fuck out of Texas … But seriously… Did she have to be Greek? I mean Thesmophoria is twelve fucking letters. Whatever. It'll heal! [YEE-HAW!] [crazy laughter] [Lengthy instrumental outro]