[VERSE] Just saw a movie on television Creatures born with scales and heat vision Landed on the earth after bird collision Due to mistakes in long division I KNOW it really makes you THINK It’s like we’re living on the BRINK They’ll send our BRAINS on the UP-LINK Makes me want to DRINK to think my THINKING PINK is just some crazy E.T. KINK [VERSE] Aliens live among us Aliens have a hive mind Aliens are working with our government Aliens notoriously smell-blind Aliens harbor a strong dislike of cows Fond of filleting them with lasers Not very nice to sheep as well Guess they’ve got some beef with grazers [CHORUS] What the F? What the L? They can’t hunt us DOWN with no sense of SMELL They size us UP We yell (Head’s UP!) We cook up some payback! (Say YUP) [VERSE] Everybody in Area 51 wears two left shoes Aliens use our blood as drugs Everyone in downtown City Hall says Aliens really just need hugs Aliens perfected faster than light travel but Aliens left the iron on at home It made their plans start to unravel They should’a left us boys alone [VERSE] Aliens live among us Aliens mean us harm Aliens have 5 eyes and like to hunt in packs Their spaceships overhung us They like to diddle farmers All drunk asleep in hammocks Just wishing to relax [CHORUS] What the HECK? What the HEY? Alien chicks throw leg and then they go AWAY They give a kiss We yell (HELL’S YES!) They ghost and then fuck off (TO THE ABYSS) [VERSE] It’s clear and present stranger danger For those a-feared of all shape changers Those facial feature re-arrangers Who eat and shit our Army Rangers (wait, what?) Time is coming soon when I bet I will don my tin foil helmet You’ll read about it in the Gazzette I’ll rain down hell in my Chevette [OUTRO] Them movies done taught me a thing or two Play your cards right, I might teach them to you 'Til then jes’ keep eyes glued to channel two When the mother ship shows you'll know what to do Oh, rats. Show’s over Back to my job as a professional wealth management planner Whatever that means.
