Absolutely Free Training

[Verse: faux-anthemic, cheery synth chords; smug delivery] Download now, sign below, watch my course, while your debt will grow. [Chorus: overblown mock-chorus, vocoders stacked like propaganda] Absolutely free training! Click the link below! Absolutely free training! Change your life — they know! [Verse: sing-song bounce, sarcastic tone] Share your stats, pay with time, your attention makes them dime. [Chorus: repeat, glitched harmonies, carnival energy] Absolutely free training! Click the link below! Absolutely free training! Change your life — they know! [Bridge: sudden minor shift, dissonant glitch chords] Upsell scheme, affiliate code. Marching happy down the road. [Outro: abrupt collapse into silence, faint auto-tuned whisper] “just click the link in the description…”