Off To Tassie

[Spoken Intro] ... Alright… gather round, this’ll be a good one… Couple weeks’ time, we’re headin’ off to Tassie… yeah… on a plane Now, that might not sound like much to some of you… But for these two… forty years since they left the ground! Got the old man askin’ about seat sizes… Mum wonderin’ if there’s a toilet onboard… And the young’uns?… oh, they’re lovin’ it… Specially Danae… she’s come prepared [Verse 1] Well it’s off to Tassie in a couple weeks Me, the old man, and the young’uns on the way Gonna be a sight no one could critique Reckon someone’s gonna lose their way [Verse 2] Up on a plane… been years since we’ve flown Forty gone by, now we’re givin’ it a try “Is there a toilet? How small is the room?” All those old worries they just can’t deny [Pre-Chorus] Only a short flight… or so we’re told Danae’s ready with a grin “Open up, Mum, Dad... take this now” “Let the holiday begin!” [Chorus] We’re off to Tassie, hold on tight Family circus takin’ flight Bit of fear but we’ll be alright Laughin’ loud scared of the height From runway wheels to island sky Old-school nerves but we still try If we land safe we’ll all agree Tassie ain’t seen a mob like we [Verse 3] Hit a bump and the old man swears Grabs that armrest, holdin’ on tight “Is this normal?” he says with a stare While the hostess says, “You’ll be right” Seatbelt sign and a shaky ride Danae laughs, Chester’s delight Mum just sits there, eyes shut tight Prayin’ hard through half the flight [Verse 4] I can see it now, clear as day Two oldies out before mid-flight Mouths wide open, snorin’ away Like rusty chainsaws in the night Heads lean over, side to side Dreamin’ of home on the ground While we’re takin’ photos down the aisle Of the loudest snorin’ ever found [Bridge] Wheels touch down, the tension breaks Little cheer runs through the flight “See? That was easy,” Danae says “Yeah… alright, you might be right” [Final Chorus] We’re off to Tassie, made it through Bit shook up but feelin’ right From white-knuckled grips to laughs we grew Turned our fear into a sight From the runway down to Tassie land Still can’t believe it all went to plan If this is flyin’, then we all agree Next time… might just take the ferry [Spoken Outro] Well… we made it Didn’t lose anyone… didn’t turn the plane around… Only a mild heart attack or two… not bad odds! Tassie, you’ve been warned… There’s a family loose on your island now… But I’ll tell ya one thing Next holiday… We’re takin’ the ferry [short instrument outro]