Attention Fever

Do I have to bear it on my own Do I have to turn my whole heart cold Do I have to want you near Then drive you from my soul You never took me as I am You said that I was cracked Yeah, torn and wrecked Then I learned you were the liar I was never born this broke You played me like a fire Selfish Cheap and cold I don’t trust you anymore Not your lips, not your eyes And I lost my faith in your mind In your truth, in your lies You’re the reason I can’t love another The reason I can’t feel another touch Can’t even sit across a table Can’t even date that much All because of you But for you it came so light While you praised the scent upon my skin You held other bodies in the night Someone I had not seen for ages Someone you had “never” talked to Yet with those sly and silent glances You were chasing hunger through and through Do I have to bear it on my own Do I have to turn my whole heart cold Do I have to want you near Then drive you from my soul Attention fever, hungry flame You blamed me with a shameless face All across my social circles What were you trying to taste You know How hard it is for me to trust How hard it is for me to fall I aged beside you Ten years too fast While I was doubting all I was Thinking I could not be enough You were lying from the start I said, leave me, let me breathe You said, just an old friend While you swore your love to me How did you end up in his bed I don’t trust you anymore That is deeper than the scar And I lost belief in your mind In who you are, in what you are Do I have to bear it on my own Do I have to turn my whole heart cold Do I have to want you near Then drive you from my soul