She Burned the Map

I had a god once... Paid him in guilt and good posture He took the quiet years, the kneeling years Left me the invoice and a roster They called it grace Grace don't leave a forwarding address Grace don't come collect at 2 a.m. Wearing your father's name like a vest I burned the map they handed down Not in rage In spring cleaning Turned out salvation was a storage unit Full of other people's grieving I am not your miracle I am not your proof I'm the door you nailed the scripture to That learned to move She burned the map She burned it clean No saints left standing in the ash between She didn't run She didn't beg She just left God holding his own shame She burned the map She burned the name The crown the cage the chapter and the claim Cold as the church she walked out of She built her altar out of what they said she couldn't love I've got block money and a theology problem Got a mouth full of doctrine I been trying to swallow Mama said cover it up Baby girl, don't let them see the hollow But the hollow's where I live now Rent free, no lease, no landlord They weaponized my emptiness I took it back and scored I watched the prophet move product from a pulpit Watched the bishop count the paper while the neighborhood drowned in it You want a witness Here I've been in every room they said I couldn't run in And I ran them I am not your warning sign I am not your shame I'm the sentence that they cut out of the sermon That came anyway She burned the map She burned it clean No saints left standing in the ash between She didn't run She didn't beg She just left God holding his own shame She burned the map She burned the name The crown the cage the chapter and the claim Cold as the church she walked out of She built her altar out of what they said she couldn't love You kept the book I kept the receipts Every debt you called devotion Every fast you called a feast Every body you marked holy While you sold the parts beneath I don't need your absolution I already feed it to the beast Here's the ledger Here's the line Every doctrine's got a price Here's the fine Guns and money and the god-given gall To charge a woman for the room that she owned all along They said the kingdom was for anyone The bouncer had a list And every name with hips on it Was waiting in the mist I don't wait I don't petition I don't stand in anyone's jurisdiction She burned the map She burned it clean No saints left standing in the ash between She didn't run She didn't beg She just left God holding his own shame She burned the map She burned the name The crown the cage the chapter and the claim Cold as the church she walked out of She built her altar out of what they said she couldn't love They asked where she went Nowhere She was already here