[Verse 1 – MALE VOCALS] Every morning bright and early, I step on the scale Hold my breath and hope the numbers don’t fail Eighty nine sixty on a very good day But if I had dessert last night, well… who can say [Verse 1 – FEMALE VOCALS] Here we go again, he’s checking his weight While I’m half asleep standing at the gate Started at a hundred and eleven, look at me Ninety nine something, light as a breeze [Chorus – BOTH MALE AND FEMALE VOCALS] We do the morning weigh-in waltz Two old bodies blaming age and faults Don’t know why we bother but we still compete Watching every crumb then sneaking a treat Funny how the years roll on Doing the morning weigh-in waltz at dawn --- [Verse 2 – FEMALE VOCALS] You brag about your numbers like you’re some young bloke But half your weight loss is just hot air and joke You eat like a horse then push your plate away Then steal my bikkies when I look the other way [Verse 2 – MALE VOCALS] Now hang on a minute, let’s get this straight There’s no proof at all I ever stole your plate These old chompers don’t like a heavy chew So I eat soft things, preferably yours, not new [Chorus – BOTH MALE AND FEMALE VOCALS] We do the morning weigh-in waltz Two old bodies blaming age and faults Don’t know why we bother but we still compete Watching every crumb then sneaking a treat Funny how the years roll on Doing the morning weigh-in waltz at dawn --- [Bridge – BOTH MALE AND FEMALE VOCALS] I reckon I’m winning In your dreams old girl The scale doesn’t lie No but you tilt it sure Want a biscuit Maybe two --- [Final Chorus – BOTH MALE AND FEMALE VOCALS] Still we do the morning weigh-in waltz Counting kilos like tallying faults Don’t know why we’re trying but we keep on going Proud of every gram we see not showing Ageing takes you for a ride But I’m glad you’re weighing in by my side Two old troopers steady and strong Doing the morning weigh-in waltz at dawn
