Track 7 — Ah, DADGUMMIT! (Ptooey!)

[INTRO — Spoken, Thick North Georgia Accent, Lazy Guitar Picking] Well, I’ll tell y’all something… Back where I grew up on Browns Bridge Road in Gainesville, Georgia, folks had a language all their own. Now my Papa was a quiet man. Wore overalls, rode a little John Deere tractor, and kept a mouthful of snuff. Didn’t say much. But he had two ways of expressing himself. One was… “Ahhhh, DADGUMMIT!” And the other one was… [PTOOOOEY!] [PAUSE] Sometimes he’d do BOTH! [Laughter — Band Kicks In] [VERSE 1 — Fast Rockabilly, Boogie-Woogie Piano] We had a language in North Georgia, You couldn’t learn in school, If you weren’t raised on Browns Bridge Road, You’d look just like a fool! “I’m fixing to” meant I was gonna, “I reckon” meant I might, “Well, I’ll be” meant something happened, And “Dadgummit!” meant it wasn’t right! “Hold your horses!” meant slow down, “Git!” meant get away, And “Bless your heart” could mean three things, Depending on the day! [CHORUS — Explosive 1950s Rock and Roll] AHHH, DADGUMMIT! PTOOEY! THERE IT GOES! PAPA’S GOT A MOUTH OF SNUFF, AND EVERYBODY KNOWS! WELL, I’LL BE! I RECKON SO! LORD HAVE MERCY! HERE WE GO! BLESS YOUR HEART! KISS MY GRITS! WHAT DA!? I’M LOSING MY WITS! [Spoken — Music Stops] Somebody get me a dictionary! [VERSE 2 — Comedic Storytelling] Now Mama Lucy took us to church, She didn’t take no votes, Papa wasn’t much for going, He’d rather wear his overalls and work! Them little old ladies smiled so sweet, You’d think they couldn’t fuss, But one could say, “Well, bless your heart,” And send you under the bus! Now imagine some fancy fellow Who’d never been down South, He heard a lady say those words, And smiled from ear to mouth. He said, “What a lovely compliment! How kind of her to say!” I said, “Mister, you better keep walking, She just told you to go away!” [Band Stops] He said, “WHAT?” I said, “BLESS YOUR HEART!” [BOOGIE-WOOGIE PIANO FALL] [CHORUS] AHHH, DADGUMMIT! PTOOEY! LOOK OUT BELOW! WE GOT A WHOLE LOTTA SAYINGS THAT CITY FOLKS DON’T KNOW! I SWANEE! WELL, I’LL BE! DON’T GET TOO BIG FOR YOUR BRITCHES, SEE! THAT DOG WON’T HUNT! YOU’RE FULL OF BEANS! SOMEBODY EXPLAIN WHAT ALL THIS MEANS! [VERSE 3 — Papa’s Big Moment] Now Papa loved that John Deere, And his El Camino too, Especially that air conditioning, Boy, that cold air blew! He’d ride around that big old yard, Content as he could be, And hardly say a single word, Least not that I could see. But picture Papa on that tractor, Something doesn’t go quite right, He stops and looks around a while, And gives that snuff a bite. [Music Slows — Bass Only] He squints… He thinks… He shakes his head… [LONG SILENCE] “Ahhhhhhhhhh…” [Band Holds Chord] “DADGUMMIT!” [PTOOOOOOOOOEY!] [Spoken — Young Bubba Voice] PAPA! You got enough snuff in there to fertilize the whole garden! [EXPLOSIVE PIANO AND SAXOPHONE RIFF] [VERSE 4 — Fast, Ridiculous, Spoken-Sung] “Well, I declare!” “Ain’t that something!” “You’re fixing to!” “I reckon!” “Don’t count your chickens!” “Quit that running!” “Hold your horses!” “Boy, I’m telling!” “Land sakes alive!” “Good gracious me!” “You’re barking up The wrong dang tree!” “Smoke on it!” “That’s amazing!” “What da!?” “The whole world’s crazy!” [BREAKDOWN — Band Stops, Spoken] Now somebody once asked me… “Bubba, can you speak proper English?” I said, “Well, I reckon I could if I was fixing to!” He said, “What does THAT mean?” I said… “AH, DADGUMMIT!” [PTOOEY!] [Band Erupts — Wild Rockabilly Guitar Solo] [BRIDGE — Slow, Warm Acoustic Guitar] Sometimes I close my eyes, And I’m back on Watson Drive. Papa’s wearing overalls, Those old days come alive. Mama Lucy’s getting ready, There’s church on Sunday morn, And Papa’s got that John Deere Ready when the grass gets long. Those old sayings make me laugh, And some still make me smile, I’d give a lot to hear that voice Again for just a while. [PAUSE] [Quiet Spoken] “Ah, dadgummit.” [FINAL CHORUS — FULL BAND, FASTER, AUDIENCE CLAPPING] AHHH, DADGUMMIT! PTOOEY! HERE WE GO! THAT’S HOW WE TALKED IN GAINESVILLE, AND THAT’S ALL I KNOW! HEY Y’ALL! I RECKON SO! BLESS YOUR HEART! NOW OFF YOU GO! WELL, I’LL BE! LORD HAVE MERCY! I’M FIXING TO GET GOOD AND THIRSTY! KISS MY GRITS! WHAT DA!? GOOD OLD GEORGIA! HA HA HA! [OUTRO — Spoken, Band Quiet] You know, I’ve traveled around a little bit. And I’ve discovered something. People everywhere have their own way of talking. But where I come from… You can tell somebody you love ’em… Tell somebody they’re crazy… And tell somebody to kiss your backside… All with the same three words. “Bless your heart!” [Laughter] And Papa? Well, he didn’t even need three words. [Silence] “Ahhh, DADGUMMIT!” [PTOOOOOOEY!] [One Last Piano Note] [Spoken Whisper] Amazin’. All is well. [FINAL FULL BAND HIT]