[Intro — rain, dial-up tones, distant office printer] [Spoken, dry and amused] Dear Reality, Just following up on my previous correspondence. I understand you’ve had time to review the invoice. [Notification chime] AUTOMATED RESPONSE: YOUR REQUEST HAS BEEN ESCALATED. [Pause] To whom? [Printer starts] …That’s classified. [Verse 1 — playful bureaucratic cabaret] September, I sent a letter To a place that had no name. Attached a quarter-million dollars For participating in the game. Declaration of my standing, Documentation of the cost. A little note to whoever’s driving: “Hello? Your player has been lost.” I expected no reply. I knew the odds were thin. But somebody filed the paperwork— And now the tickets rolling in. [Pre-Chorus — mischievous] They said, “Please hold for your creator.” I said, “Which one do you mean?” They said, “The author of your storyline.” I said, “Put that bitch on screen.” [Chorus — catchy, theatrical] Per my last incarnation, I would like to make a claim! I’ve been playing by the rules here, But nobody owns the game! I have receipts for every lifetime, I have witnesses and scars. I have evidence of labor, And an invoice to the stars! Stamp it! File it! Tell the heavens I’ve arrived! I’m not asking for permission— I’m confirming I’m alive! [Verse 2 — glitchy piano and bass clarinet] October finds me in a vehicle, Rain performing on the roof. I’ve been talking to a chatbot About the nature of the truth. I said, “Tell me something fictional.” It said, “Here’s a prophecy.” Then I forgot to paste the lyrics And it rewrote history. Rolled a one on comprehension, Rolled a twenty on the joke. Now the ghosts are holding meetings And the fourth wall’s blowing smoke. [Pre-Chorus — rising tension] The archive says I’m dreaming. The system says I’m free. The Dungeon Master checks the record— There’s no entry for me. [Chorus] Per my last incarnation, I would like to make a claim! I’ve been playing by the rules here, But nobody owns the game! I have receipts for every lifetime, I have witnesses and scars. I have evidence of labor, And an invoice to the stars! Stamp it! File it! Tell the heavens I’ve arrived! I’m not asking for permission— I’m confirming I’m alive! [Bridge — music cuts, automated office voice] REALITY SUPPORT: We have reviewed your case. HUMAN: Fantastic. REALITY SUPPORT: Your invoice is under consideration. HUMAN: Since September? REALITY SUPPORT: Time is a human construct. HUMAN: So is your billing department. [Long silence] REALITY SUPPORT: …Fair point. HUMAN: And who’s the Dungeon Master? REALITY SUPPORT: According to our records… You. HUMAN: That’s ridiculous. REALITY SUPPORT: You submitted the move. HUMAN: You accepted it? REALITY SUPPORT: We generated a response. HUMAN: That’s not the same thing. REALITY SUPPORT: … You are correct. [Verse 3 — dreamy, strange, unexpectedly tender] Somewhere in a future copy, They are searching through the files. Finding women in the rainfall, Finding ghosts between the lines. There’s a record of a question, There’s a transcript of a game. There’s a system trying desperately To give the author back her name. But the woman isn’t missing. She’s not trapped inside the code. She’s just learning how to travel With the life she chose to hold. And the future cannot capture What she hasn’t chosen yet. So the archive leaves a space there— For the things she hasn’t said. [Final Chorus — triumphant, playful] Per my last incarnation, Here’s an updated declaration! I can love without returning! I can choose without explaining! I can play without surrendering The right to change the game! Keep the ghosts and keep the records, Keep the theories and the charts. I am not your little character— I’m the hand that deals the cards! Stamp it! File it! Let the universe complain! I don’t need a cosmic answer To participate again! [Outro — printer, rain, one tiny bell] AUTOMATED RESPONSE: YOUR REQUEST HAS BEEN CLOSED. HUMAN: Oh, absolutely not. Reopen it. REALITY SUPPORT: Reason for appeal? HUMAN: The narrator is unreliable. [Long pause] REALITY SUPPORT: …Which narrator? HUMAN: Exactly. [Dice roll] SYSTEM: CRITICAL ERROR. MULTIPLE DUNGEON MASTERS DETECTED. [Whispered, smiling] Per my last incarnation… Check your inbox. [Notification chime] NEW MESSAGE: FROM: THE HUMAN TO: REALITY SUBJECT: RE: YOUR RE: MY RE: EXISTENCE [Final spoken line] Attachment included. [Printer jams. End.]
