[intro] [verse] Sorry Mariah Carey but I'm gonna have to interrupt All I want for Christmas is for you to shut the fuck up; And if I hear Last Christmas one more fucking time I swear I'm gonna wham a candycane through my motherfucking ear [chorus] Enough with the cheer, enough with the lies, This holiday’s just a fucking disguise. There's no peace, there's no love, I think I've had more than enough. [verse] Do They Know It’s Christmas? Why the fuck should they care? That patronizing garbage should be taken off the air. No more 12 Days of Christmas—it's too goddamn long, The gifts are absurd, and the melody’s all wrong; [chorus] Enough with the cheer, enough with the lies, This holiday’s just a fucking disguise. There's no peace, there's no love, I think I've had more than enough. [verse] George Bailey whining in It’s a Wonderful Life? Please let him jump, and spare me the strife; Love Actually? More like "hate consistently," Your sappy rom-com is killing me mentally. [chorus] Enough with the cheer, enough with the lies, This holiday’s just a fucking disguise. There's no peace, there's no love, I think I've had more than enough. [Bridge] Clark Griswold’s lights make me fucking sick, His tacky house makes me want to grab a brick; I hope Ralphie's BB gun shoots him in the eye, And Frosty the Snowman can melt in the fire. AND DIE HARD IS NOT A FUCKING CHRISTMAS MOVIE [chorus] Enough with the cheer, enough with the lies, This holiday’s just a fucking disguise. There's no peace, there's no love, I think I've had more than enough. [Outro] Take your movies, your carols, your clichés galore, And toss them all out, they’re all a fucking bore [chorus] [fade out] Enough with the cheer, enough with the lies, This holiday’s just a fucking disguise. There's no peace, there's no love, I think I've had more than enough. [end]