Episode 6: Bernard, Beige Sweater (Arthur-verse)

Episode 6: Bernard, Beige Sweater ╔════════════════════════════════════════════ ║ 📚 ARTHUR-VERSE · SEASON 1 · ISSUE FILE ╠════════════════════════════════════════════ ║ 🗂️ SET: ARTHUR-VERSE · S1 ║ 🎵 TRACK: Episode 6: Bernard, Beige Sweater ║ 👥 CAST: Arthur / Bernard, ugh / Tim Drake (referenced) / Conner Kent (referenced) ╠════════════════════════════════════════════ ║ 🎬 SYNOPSIS: Arthur clocks Bernard, ugh, on a cold street like he’s stalking a ║ plot point. Latte in hand, Marvel tee, trying to look normal. Arthur breezes in ║ with trench-coat crime, smirks, and Bernard says, “Do I know you?” and Arthur responds, “Not yet… but you can.” ║ Meaning: you don’t know me, but you will. Then he starts reading Bernard, ugh, ║ like a case file and poking the sore spot on purpose. ║ ║ He calls Bernard, ugh, safe. Calm. Beige. He asks who was top or bottom with Tim ║ Drake, just to be filthy and petty. Bernard, ugh, tries to walk away, but Arthur ║ literally blocks the exit with a film crew and “plot this way” signage, forcing ║ the conversation like it’s a staged scene. ║ ║ Bernard, ugh, bites back. He calls out Arthur’s hunger to be seen, the way Arthur ║ scripts people’s throats, the way thunder gets loud when it’s scared. Bernard, ugh, ║ admits the one thing Arthur hates hearing: safety was a choice, not a lack of ║ passion. Being solid is work. Being quiet is not the same as being empty. ║ ║ One canon note becomes clear in the subtext. Bernard, ugh, and Tim are together in ║ DC canon. In Owl’s Walk, Arthur has written it differently. The relationship reads ║ like a wrong turn that got edited out, and Arthur treats it like a mistake that ║ shouldn’t exist. Under the insults is the real agenda: Tim’s partner was always ║ meant to be Conner Kent. ║ ║ Arthur vanishes mid-crosswalk like a magic trick. Bernard, ugh, texts Tim about the ║ “beige sweater” insult, the phone autocorrects it to “Christmas sweater,” and Tim ║ replies with the driest possible verdict: better than beige. Womp-womp. ║ ║ 🛋️ THERAPIST NOTE: Arthur isn’t interrogating Bernard, ugh, for information. He’s ║ interrogating him for proof. He wants a reason Tim would choose “safe” over storm. ║ Bernard, ugh, refuses to be reduced to an accessory in Arthur’s insecurity, and ║ that refusal is the point. It’s the first time someone outside the Bat-orbit tells ║ Arthur, calmly, that attention is not the same thing as love. ║ ║ 🩺 FILED IMPRESSION: Jealousy-driven confrontation disguised as comedy (Arthur); ║ Boundary assertion with self-definition under provocation (Bernard, ugh). ╚════════════════════════════════════ [verse 1] Cold wind snaps — trench-coat crime, Bernard walking, right on time. Latte heat — he hides the chill, acting like the world stands still. Marvel tee, vape glow near, Arthur smirks, “I found you, dear.” Bernard goes, “Do I know you, man?” Arthur laughs, “Not yet, but you can.” - I’m Arthur Knows his drink, his look, his stance, reads him like a second chance. Bernard thinks, Not today. Arthur smokes and turns away. Wind betrays — smoke hits back, Bernard chokes and he yells “AHCK!” That’s the spark, the cosmic cue: storm meets sweater, red meets blue. Cosmic couture, baby. [spoken] Actually… more like beige… a lame beige sweater. [pre-chorus] “So no tea, no shade” Arthur said. “Who was top or bottom when you shared Tim’s bed?” [Chorus] Why would Tim ever choose you? You’re safe, you’re calm, Sorry, boo! DON’T WALK AWAY!!! I don’t get it, I don’t get you! WAIT! get back here! Yoo-hoo… [verse 2] Arthur pokes the bedroom bit, pries too close and smiles with it. Bernard flares, the jawline set, walks it off like No Answer, Arthur gets. Bernard thumbs a text to Tim — message failed, the bars look grim. “How you know about Tim, pray tell?” “Friends since childhood.” Arthur sells it well. yaas queen Arthur goes, half-grin, half-dare: “You get kidnapped more than the city’s mayor.” Bernard turns — he tries to bail, film crew blocks — dead end trail. Cables, cranes, the PA’s sway, hand that points the other way. “plot this way”. [spoken] So… you and Tim broke up… [Pre-Chorus 2 — Arthur] Real talk — what’s it like, left behind? Does safety sing, or HURT YOUR PRIDE?! [Chorus] Why would Tim ever choose you? You’re safe, you’re calm, Sorry, boo! DON’T WALK AWAY!!! I don’t get it, I don’t get you! WAIT! get back here! Yoo-hoo… [bridge] Bernard Bites Back! I am not your note; I hear what you mean. Stop scripting my throat; you need to be seen. you spark for the crowd; I hold lines; I keep; you shout it too loud. I guard while you sleep; “Damn! Calm your titties…” But Bernard went on… Beds? That’s not your lane; don’t ask who did who. I owe you no pain, your hunger shows through. Left behind? I chose— to keep what I build; I’m solid; I rose; your thunder stays stilled [final chorus] That’s why Tim ever chose you, You’re safe, you’re steel— okay, true. RESPECT WHERE DUE!!! I get it now, I get you too. Alright—keep walking. I’m through… [Spoken] Bernard…. Ugh! [outro] Crosswalk blinks — says ‘don’t walk’, Arthur walks, Bernard balks. Bus roars past —then it clears, Bernard’s shocked — no Arthur there. Street stays clean — no stain, no shoe, horns resume, lanes push through. Traffic moves — the world hits play, Arthur’s gone — god slips away. Thumbs light up — “Tim, you see? he called me a beige sweater — me.” Tap to send — phone plays editor, swaps beige sweater to Christmas sweater. Ping comes back — Tim dry as ever: “Better than a beige sweater.” Womp-womp!