Back to the Cubicle

Well, The Boss Sent Out A Memo. Said It's Time To Make A Change. We're Bringing Everybody Back Together. So We Can Work Alone Again. Used To Roll Out Of Bed At Seven Fifteen Coffee In My Hand, Looking Mighty Clean Log In At Home, Get The Job Done Right Now I'm Fighting Morning Traffic Just To Sit Beneath A Fluorescent Light Got My Laptop, Got My Chair Got The Same Old Meetings Everywhere Boss Says, "We Need That Personal Connection." So I Join The Teams Call From The Next Section. They Say The Magic Happens Face To Face But Everybody's Staring At The Same Old Interface. Back To The Cubicle. Back In The Game. Same Old Work, Just A Different Frame. Burning Gas And Buying Lunch Just To Sit And Click And Type And Punch. Back To The Cubicle. Isn't It Grand? We're Building Culture, Just Like They Planned. Same Old Paycheck, Brand New Expense Tell Me, Does This Make Any Sense? Does This Make Any Sense? Monday's Packed, The Parking Lot's A Zoo Tuesday's Standing Room For The Whole Office Crew Wednesday Comes, The Office Is A Ghost Guess That's The Day We All Like Working Most. Got A Conference Room, Twelve Chairs In A Row Everybody's On Mute With Their Cameras Low We're All In The Building, Ain't That Grand? Sending Each Other Messages Instead Of Talking Face To Face Like We Planned. They Say Collaboration's What We Need But I Collaborate Just Fine From Home, Indeed. Back To The Cubicle. Back In The Game. Same Old Work, Just A Different Frame. Burning Gas And Buying Lunch Just To Sit And Click And Type And Punch. Back To The Cubicle. Isn't It Grand? We're Building Culture, Just Like They Planned. Same Old Paycheck, Brand New Expense Tell Me, Does This Make Any Sense? There's A Guy Who Drives An Hour And A Half Each Way Just To Answer Emails For Eight Hours A Day Another Spends A Fortune Just To Park His Car Then Buys A Twelve-Dollar Sandwich From The Deli Bar Meanwhile, Management's Got A Brilliant Plan Let's Bring Everybody Back Again. They Say The Numbers Show We're Better Together Funny How The Wi-Fi Works Just Fine From Wherever. Now Don't Get Me Wrong. I Like Seeing Everybody's Smiling Face. But If We're All Here For Collaboration Why's The Meeting On The Invitation? If We're All Here To Work As One Why's Everybody Got Their Headphones On? And Here's The Thing That Takes The Cake. On Work-From-Home Days, Nobody's At The Place. Back To The Cubicle. Back In The Game. Same Old Work, Just A Different Frame. Burning Gas And Buying Lunch Just To Sit And Click And Type And Punch. Back To The Cubicle. Isn't It Grand? We're Building Culture, Just Like They Planned. Same Old Paycheck, Brand New Expense Tell Me, Does This Make Any Sense? Back To The Cubicle. Raise Your Hand. We're Building Culture, Just Like They Planned. We've Got The Badges, We've Got The Screens We've Got The Best Virtual Meetings You've Ever Seen. Back To The Cubicle. Don't Be Late. There's A Parking Fee And A Security Gate. Same Old Job, Same Old Routine But Hey, At Least The Office Coffee's Free. So Here's To Teamwork. Here's To The Crew. Here's To All Those Meetings. That Could've Been An Email Or Two. And Remember. If You Can't Find Me. I'll Be Right Here. At My Desk. No. Not That Desk. Back To The Cubicle. Back To The Cubicle.