I Think You Broke My Cat

🎩🧐 #Tomfoolery 🎩🧐 Get your mustache properly primped. The very fancy white glove have been thrown. Will you keep a stiff upper lip… or return fire with fine proper diction? XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX Step 1: Drop Your Retort Remix, mash-up, or other craft your own civil savagery. Bring your best bars beau monde to the chap-hop scene. Go sharp and show these old chums that the water’s not too hot. XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX Step 2: Dress for the Duel Create cover art that feels like a Victorian vanity project gone wild. If your pinky is up high and your posture is perfect, you’re doing it right. XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX Step 3: Hijack the House of Lords Tag your creation with #Tomfoolery You can add this to your lyrics section: ==========☕🎩🍰========== Made for #Tomfoolery. Check the link for more details. [Placeholder link] ==========☕🎩🍰========== XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX Step 4: Mind Your Manners Comment on the original track so the gents know you’ve stepped into the lobby. XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX Step 5: Mix the Biscuits Blast your fellow duelists across the playlist banquet. They will appreciate your spittle. XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX Step 6: Echo the Etiquette Paste these rules (or the short link version) into your track description so the patrician addiction keeps multiplying. XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX And that’s it. Fix your collar and pour the tea. 🎩🧐 The tomfoolery has begun. XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX ---------------------------------------------- [Style: hyper-articulated, severe aristocratic British RP, theatrical circus cadence] [Intro, whimsical carnival music swells, posh headmistress clears her throat] Well hello my dear fellow! I find you entirely afternoonified. Yes... You may speak to me And how about a mustache ride? [verse] Fine Sir, as you have stated wish to tussle with my bustle lately eloquently elocuting root scale of your muscle I wish now to state with phrasing not confused with sentimental I accept your challenge R.E. doodle sack, back-porch, and dental [verse] Now we are cavorting thusly, I would find it tangible that fully filled my lady purse is feeling somewhat frangible and were it so that down below you could stow slightly less of you I’d be obliged Old Bean and surely wouldn’t miss the rest of you [verse] ARRGH! Now somethings gone awry I fear that I heard something wrong I’d best suggest now that we rrrrest and you holster that donkey dong I’m not a doctor but I fear that here I might need many stitches Leeches and some coke to heal what’s mainly housed in lady breeches [Chorus, full music hall ensemble, booming boom-bap beat] I believe you broke my kitty, Sir. My kitty went pop Whiskers freshly waxed, would you please pop down to the shoppe? This shall need attention from the chap of root causation I require, Sir that you attend my dislocation [Bridge, heavy boom-bap drum beat, virtuoso acoustic banjolele solo, fast rhythmic strumming] [verse] Rrrright-O, I believe that you have now broken my wasted puss The gentleman appreciates this knowing I won’t make a fuss My crinkum-crankum thanks you now and will not cause a scene or stir Please send me your chauffeur post haste and soon physician to confer [verse] The Season’s here I fear Dear you have clearly ruined my social model Your calling card a large barnyard canard too hard so now I waddle Broken muff o’erstuffed is tough I’ve had enough, and like as not My badly twisted twat has got no shot at getting on a yacht [verse] You rrrrandy Dandy, you Who knew my afternoon was ending sadly On promenade I’ll gimply limp My broken hip reflecting badly Fashionably bubbly doesn’t work It’s doubly not enough When your fop ass went and busted up my motherfucking muff [verse] I’ll back up now as I concur a connoisseur would phrase that better My rrrroasted bush is mostly toast, but lest I gain a scarlet letter Stiff upper lip is what I think will surely win the day, and then In time, a social climbing crime forgot, my vag will play again [Chorus, full music hall ensemble, booming boom-bap beat] I believe you broke my kitty Sir My kitty went pop Whiskers freshly waxed would you please pop down to the shoppe? This shall need attention from the chap of root causation I require Sir that you attend my dislocation [outro] You’ve deftly effed my cleft ... You’ve been shitty to my kitty ... You’re a pox upon my box ... You’re a no-no for my nu-nu ... [pause] So be a chum and bugger off.