[Intro] Ladies and gentlemen, a brief history of the frontier. [Verse 1] High noon heat, shade was lean The cattle cooked looking for a stream. A cowboy tipped his hat and said, “I need to shade my ears along with my head.” The sun would burn every brow, That brim said, “Not today, not now.” And history, in its grand design, Was saved by several inches of twine. [Chorus] Wide brim, wide brim, hold the burning sky, Kept the brains from boiling while the herds went by. Books may praise the rifle, may even praise the plan, But the hat was at the head of making a Western man. [Verse 2] The generals met in the big tent, truth is half passed out by noon Heat called the meeting off again. Their foreheads shone, their tempers would rise The men in charge of the hats were looking cool and wise. No clever speech, no bold decree, Could beat a patch of shade for free. They claimed the land from sea to sea But none thanked the milliner publicly [Chorus] Wide brim, wide brim, hold the burning sky, Kept the brains from boiling while the herds went by. Books may praise the rifle, may even praise the plan, But the hat was at the head of making a Western man. [Bridge] Now some will say it took truth and grit And a big iron on the hip A wagon train, the invented wheel. That’s certainly one point of view But hats were broad, their stories too. The records list the dates and names; The shaded brain gets neither plaques nor claims. [Verse 3] So raise a glass to both felt and straw, No finer craft the frontier saw. It kept the sun from cooking sense, And gave a cow poke confidence. The west was won, what books forgot to say. The hat just kept the winners cool that day. [Final Chorus] Wide brim, wide brim, hold the burning sky, Kept the brains from boiling while the herds went by. Books may praise the rifle, may even praise the plan, But the hat was at the head of making a Western man [Outro] And that, folks, is the whole account. Give or take a little shade.
