(Verse 1) I was low on cash, man, so I hatched a plan, To hit every county in this Hawkeye land. Three months to go, with a million on the line, I grabbed my TP and I crossed that state line! (Chorus) I've shit everywhere, man, I've shit everywhere, man. From county seats to fairs, man, outhouses, I don't care, man. Got outhouses to spare, man, I've shit everywhere. (Verse 2) I started out in Polk, then I hit up Jasper, In Poweshiek, I made it just a little faster. Linn County's next, then it’s Benton and Tama, From Black Hawk to Boone, I’m writing this memoir. (Chorus) I've shit everywhere, man, I've shit everywhere, man. From courthouse steps to squares, man, I’ve dropped my load right there, man. I’ve left my mark, beware, man, I’ve shit everywhere. (Verse 3) From Clinton to Scott, Cedar, Jones, and Jackson, Headed west to Dallas where my work was relaxin’. Sioux to Woodbury, Pottawattamie too, Harrison and Shelby, I’ve got things to do! (Chorus) I've shit everywhere, man, I've shit everywhere, man. From outhouse lairs to chairs, man, in rest stops, I declare, man. One million’s what I’ll share, man, I’ve sh*t everywhere. (Verse 4) In Dubuque, Des Moines, and Jefferson too, I made a pit stop in Sac and Calhoun. Kossuth, Worth, and Hancock were a breeze, Winnebago, Wright, and Cerro Gordo, please. (Final Chorus) I’ve shit everywhere, man, I’ve shit everywhere, man. From fields to county fairs, man, with lots of double-dares, man. I’ve done it all with flair, man, I’ve shit everywhere.