Bendigo

[intro] (Male, intensely): We’ve been driving on the Calder Highway for hours, Linda. The City of Gold awaits. A promised land of deep caverns, gothic spires, and ancient dragons. (Female, sighing heavily): Gary, if you don't pull this car into a motel in the next five minutes, I'm going to ravage you right here in the passenger seat. (Male): We cannot stop! The pilgrimage has begun! [verse 1 ] I'm navigating through the perilous lands! To the richest goldfields in the Aussie sands! We’re heading for the caverns where the miners bled The Central Deborah Mine and the Poppet Head! A magical kingdom built on quartz and stone Where a man can claim a fortune for his very own! Just look at the horizon, the Victorian pride! It's the ultimate destination of this epic ride! [verse 2 ] You're talking 'bout the history and the deep dark shafts! While I’m sitting over here going absolutely daft! You can keep your Talking Trams and the gothic art I want to take a private tour of your sacred heart! You’re reading from a brochure 'bout a heritage walk But I'm getting hot and bothered listening to you talk! Your hands are on the steering wheel, ten and two But I want those fingers doing what they're born to do! [pre-chorus] (Male): We are approaching Charing Cross, the center of the town! (Female): I'm taking off my seatbelt and I'm sliding right down! (Male): We must behold the beauty of the golden strike! (Female): I'm ready to explode upon the turnpike! [chorus ] On the glorious quest to Bendigo! Where the Alexandra Fountain and the passions flow! We’re riding to a city of majestic might But we're fighting off the fever in the middle of the night! Guarded by the dragons in the Chinese hall But the friction in the cabin is eclipsing it all! It’s a magical journey, a golden crusade! And I'm demanding that the ultimate tribute be paid! [verse 3 ] I can see the Cathedral piercing the sky! A towering spire that is catching my eye! We gotta see the Gallery, we gotta stand tall Before the imperial dragons at the Museum wall! Dai Gum Loong is waking up from his sleep! A magnificent beast that the city will keep! [verse 4] Well I've got a magnificent beast of my own! And he’s sitting in the driver's seat entirely grown! Pull into the Shamrock, get a hotel suite Or I'm dragging you into the shadows of the street! The Gold Rush is over, it’s a thing of the past But this burning in my body is continuing to last! I'm a desperate prospector with a feverish mind And I'm digging for the greatest treasure I can find! [pre-chorus ] (Male): We are approaching Charing Cross, the center of the town! (Female): I'm taking off my seatbelt and I'm sliding right down! (Male): We must behold the beauty of the golden strike! (Female): I'm ready to explode upon the turnpike! [chorus ] On the glorious quest to Bendigo! Where the Alexandra Fountain and the passions flow! We’re riding to a city of majestic might But we're fighting off the fever in the middle of the night! Guarded by the dragons in the Chinese hall But the friction in the cabin is eclipsing it all! It’s a magical journey, a golden crusade! And I'm demanding that the ultimate tribute be paid! [bridge ] (Sound of tires screeching as the car pulls over) (Male, breathless): Okay, okay! I parked! We're at Rosalind Park! (Female, panting): Finally! Unbutton that shirt, Gary. (Male): But the flying foxes! The heritage trees! (Female): The only heritage I care about right now is in your trousers. Get over here! (Male, surrendering): Oh, sweet mercy! [guitar solo ] [epic climax chorus] On the glorious quest to Bendigo! Where the Alexandra Fountain and the passions flow! We’re riding to a city of majestic might But we're fighting off the fever in the middle of the night! Guarded by the dragons in the Chinese hall But the friction in the cabin is eclipsing it all! It’s a magical journey, a golden crusade! And I'm demanding that the ultimate tribute be paid! [outro ] (Heavy panting) (Male): That... that was better than the Central Deborah Mine tour. (Female, laughing softly): Told you. (Male): ...Can we still go see the Talking Trams tomorrow? (Female): Go to sleep, Gary. (Fade out on a single, resonant piano chord and cricket sounds)