A Selfish Kind Of Love

lo-fi hip hop, cloud rap, minimal hip hop (lo-fi), slow cloud rap atmosphere

STUDIO

Im not asking for a speech
I dont need you guys to message
save those “things will get better”
for another persons lesson
I need one normal morning where my mind doesnt feel empty
not leased out to a thief of love with the heartache compounded and pending
Im tired of pretending Im not contending with my own ending
where I fake laugh and notice that those fake laughs are the only thing cemented
I can see Im present in the pictures but the person in them isnt me
Im still stood there, but the memory wont accept it

and I just dont see a reason today
to wake up, work, eat, wait for the end of the day
so I can avoid sleep
not speak to another person till the end of the week
eat because the clock says eat, bath because I stink
scroll through other people being human on my screen
keyboard clicks, keyboard clicks, coffee machine hiss, keyboard clicks, staring at the same four walls
this phone never rings but I still check it for missed calls
Friday feels like freedom but it isnt
just gives me two days to notice how loud the quiet is
while next week waits behind it with its hand on my throat and hands in my pocket taking payments, fuck,...... Im already broke
I dont want advice dressed up as fake arse affection
Im past the point where I need someone to notice
the seriousness of my disconnection

I dont want candles and posts and good photos selected
or you only showing my best bits cropped like the worst parts were corrected
I dont want “he was funny” from people who never checked in
dont make my pain polite for the sake of the sentence
dont want you held by someone who never paid the cost
never put the years in, love and pain and the loss
of all the little wars we fought just to make it through the day
and maybe thats selfish, but Im scared theyll take my place
like your heart wont be empty and youll love anothers face
I dont want life, I just dont want someone else at your ending
Im not asking for saving, Im asking for mending

© 2026 Hotwife of Pi. All rights reserved. All lyrics are original works written and published under the name Hotwife of Pi and are protected by applicable copyright law. No part of these lyrics may be copied, reproduced, republished, distributed, adapted, performed, recorded, transmitted, used for artificial intelligence or machine-learning training, or otherwise exploited, in whole or in part, without prior written permission from the copyright holder, except where permitted by law.

4194/7500

I wanna die I just dont wanna miss tomorrow dont want any pain but I still wanna see what follows I feel like I need the dark not just a safer place to breathe I want to leave I just dont want me to leave you and maybe thats selfish but Im scared theyll take my place like your heart wont be empty and youll love anothers face I dont want life I just dont want someone else at your ending Im not asking for saving Im asking for mending Im not asking for a speech I dont need you guys to message save those “things will get better” for another persons lesson I need one normal morning where my mind doesnt feel empty not leased out to a thief of love with the heartache compounded and pending Im tired of pretending Im not contending with my own ending where I fake laugh and notice that those fake laughs are the only thing cemented I can see Im present in the pictures but the person in them isnt me Im still stood there, but the memory wont accept it I wanna die I just dont wanna miss tomorrow dont want any pain but I still wanna see what follows I feel like I need the dark not just a safer place to breathe I want to leave I just dont want me to leave you and maybe thats selfish but Im scared theyll take my place like your heart wont be empty and youll love anothers face I dont want life I just dont want someone else at your ending Im not asking for saving Im asking for mending and I just dont see a reason today to wake up, work, eat, wait for the end of the day so I can avoid sleep not speak to another person till the end of the week eat because the clock says eat, bath because I stink scroll through other people being human on my screen keyboard clicks, keyboard clicks, coffee machine hiss, keyboard clicks, staring at the same four walls this phone never rings but I still check it for missed calls Friday feels like freedom but it isnt just gives me two days to notice how loud the quiet is while next week waits behind it with its hand on my throat and hands in my pocket taking payments, fuck,...... Im already broke I dont want advice dressed up as fake arse affection Im past the point where I need someone to notice the seriousness of my disconnection I wanna die I just dont wanna miss tomorrow dont want any pain but I still wanna see what follows I feel like I need the dark not just a safer place to breathe I want to leave I just dont want me to leave you and maybe thats selfish but Im scared theyll take my place like your heart wont be empty and youll love anothers face I dont want life I just dont want someone else at your ending Im not asking for saving Im asking for mending I dont want candles and posts and good photos selected or you only showing my best bits cropped like the worst parts were corrected I dont want “he was funny” from people who never checked in dont make my pain polite for the sake of the sentence dont want you held by someone who never paid the cost never put the years in, love and pain and the loss of all the little wars we fought just to make it through the day and maybe thats selfish, but Im scared theyll take my place like your heart wont be empty and youll love anothers face I dont want life, I just dont want someone else at your ending Im not asking for saving, Im asking for mending I wanna die I just dont wanna miss tomorrow dont want any pain but I still wanna see what follows I feel like I need the dark not just a safer place to breathe I want to leave I just dont want me to leave you and maybe thats selfish but Im scared theyll take my place like your heart wont be empty and youll love anothers face I dont want life I just dont want someone else at your ending Im not asking for saving Im asking for mending © 2026 Hotwife of Pi. All rights reserved. All lyrics are original works written and published under the name Hotwife of Pi and are protected by applicable copyright law. No part of these lyrics may be copied, reproduced, republished, distributed, adapted, performed, recorded, transmitted, used for artificial intelligence or machine-learning training, or otherwise exploited, in whole or in part, without prior written permission from the copyright holder, except where permitted by law.

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