I just took the most massive shit A log the size of a fucking brick Now my ass is ripped and twisted Like I've just been double fisted I'm in pain and I cannot wipe And my shit won't go down the pipe I push the button, the bowl fills up The water can't push my massive dump I've given birth to a turd! It won't flush, it won't go down I've given birth to a turd! This bathroom's a fucking warzone now Sweat starts dripping from my brow I can't leave this turd here now The smell is vile, it lingers strong This final battle will be long I grab the brush, I stab it down But my turd just starts spinning 'round I grab the plunger, I fucking pray But this log just won't go away I've given birth to a turd! It won't flush, it won't go down I've given birth to a turd! This bathroom's a fucking warzone now I reach my hand into the murky bowl I grab the beast, it feels so cold It slips away, escapes my grip That slippery, slimey piece of shit!!! I hear a groan from deep within me A second log is trying to break free I think I just want to fucking die As the shits begin to multiply I've given birth to a turd! It won't flush, it won't go down I've given birth to a turd! This bathroom's a fucking warzone now