Waking up in a hospital bed, not knowing if I’m alive or dead, what is real what is fake what is right what is wrong is this somewhere I just do not belong? I can barely remember the sounds let alone the picture just constantly blinded by the fixtures I had a feeling you were by my side the was just no way for me to speak coming through it was a hell of a ride tubes in my throat trying not to freak. This fucking pain I still feel will it ever truly heal or am I destined to fail by my own betrayal. My mind is constantly heavy trying to hold up my head. Well maybe it’s not a miracle maybe I deserve to be dead.