[Intro] [Deep Old Norse Shamanic Drone Chant vocal style, dark rumble] [Viking hum voice, extremely low, dramatic] Hmmm—hmmmmm—hmm! Deep in the pines where the cold rivers run, Squatch keeps his head down and dodges the sun. [Vocal Drop] [Punchy 'na na na na' dance-pop element begins] [Upbeat driving techno beat drops hard] [Verse 1] [Low chest register male vocal, distinct spoken-word rhythm, upbeat pop] I heard you below me with nets and a plan, One brought a ring, one brought a van. “Marry me, Squatch, you’re strong and hairy, I’ll trim your beard, and it's getting scary!” I’m not your dream husband, I’m not your prize, I just want my berries and peace and quiet. [Pre-Chorus] [Build-up, accelerating synths] Then the hunters came sniffing around, With little glass bottles and labels they found. They say my musk makes the lonely hearts swoon— I’m moving my camp to the moon! [Chorus] [Catchy 2000s techno dance pop, bright massive synth chords] [Loud vocal mixing, prominent upfront vocals] I’m Squatch! Keep your hands off my rizz! That rugged aroma belongs to me! You want me in a jar, on a shelf, in your shower! Squatch soap for the lads who can’t get a date! I’m Squatch! I’m hiding away! No scent factory’s taking my essence today! I’ve got rizz, yes, I know that I do— But I’m keeping that rizz for Squatch, not you! [Verse 2] [Upbeat electronic verse, punchy vocal delivery] The fellas all swear that my fragrance is magic, One dab and their courtship turns wildly dramatic. They scrub with my soap and they strut through the town, Then ask why their dates keep on wanting them around! “Your scent is delicious!” they cry through the trees, I’m not a cologne shop; I’m begging you, please! I bathe in a stream like a regular guy— Now someone’s got “Eau de Squatch” ready to buy! [Pre-Chorus] [Build-up, building drum snare roll] They’ll bottle my rizz, they’ll distill my mane, Put “limited edition” across every pane. [Breakdown] [Beat stops entirely, sudden low guttural warrior chant] Hmmm—hmmmmm—HUM! No ring! No cage! No scented decree! This magnificent musk is the property of me! [Bridge] [Synth-pop beat kicks back in, building melody] I’ll sleep in a cave with a pinecone for a pillow, Take the long trail past the cold, hidden willow. If you want a fine husband, go meet someone kind— And leave this big, fragrant legend behind! [Final Chorus] [Maximum energy, stadium synth explosion, anthemic dance pop] I’m Squatch! Keep your hands off my rizz! That rugged aroma belongs to me! You want me in a jar, on a shelf, in your shower! Squatch soap for the lads who can’t get a date! I’m Squatch! I’m hiding away! No scent factory’s taking my essence today! I’ve got rizz, yes, I know that I do— But I’m keeping that rizz for Squatch, not you! [Outro] [Beat fades out, deep Viking hum returns] Hmmm—hmmmmm—hmm! [Spoken, deep bass voice] GO AWAY. Nothing to see here folks. [Fade to silence]
