Verse 1 She said, “You never listen!” I said, “What did you say?” She said, “That’s EXACTLY what I mean! You invalidate my pain!” She’s the sun, she’s the moon, she’s the jury and the judge, And the facts are just opinions if they don’t support her grudge. She’s got a PhD in Reading What You Meant, With a minor in projection and a major in resentment. Every mirror is a witness, every ex a criminal, And somehow her conclusions are empirically… fictional. ## Pre-Chorus She’s the center of the universe, The universe is wrong, She’s been right about everything Since Tuesday all along. She rewrites the conversation, Then accuses me of lies. Honey, that’s not gaslighting, That’s a TED Talk with closed eyes! ## CHORUS NARCISSIST! NARCISSIST! She screams it like a pop psychologist! I have a different point of view? That’s a symptom! Call a specialist! NARCISSIST! NARCISSIST! Her logic’s gone existentialist! She’s the only mind that’s real, And I’m the crazy one for asking how she feels? Oh-oh-oh! Main character syndrome, population: ONE! She’s the judge, the jury, the victim, and the gun! NARCISSIST! NARCISSIST! Projection with a lipstick twist! If I’m the villain in your story, babe, Who wrote the script? ## Verse 2 She says, “I’m an empath. I can feel your energy.” Translation: “I’ve decided what you think. Don't disagree with me.” She can diagnose a stranger from a three-second TikTok, But the concept of self-reflection makes her nervous system TikTok. She weaponizes therapy like a medieval trebuchet, Throws a hundred fancy labels at the things she can’t explain. “Your boundaries are abusive! Your silence is an attack!” Girl, you sent me forty-seven texts because I didn't text you back. ## Pre-Chorus 2 She’s got selective memory, A courtroom in her head, Where the evidence is inadmissible Unless she heard it said. Her feelings are the facts, And the facts are up for trial. She’s been cross-examining reality For quite a little while. ## CHORUS NARCISSIST! NARCISSIST! She screams it like a pop psychologist! I have a different point of view? That’s a symptom! Call a specialist! NARCISSIST! NARCISSIST! Her logic’s gone existentialist! She’s the only mind that’s real, And I’m the crazy one for asking how she feels? Oh-oh-oh! Main character syndrome, population: ONE! She’s the judge, the jury, the victim, and the gun! NARCISSIST! NARCISSIST! Projection with a lipstick twist! If I’m the villain in your story, babe, Who wrote the script? ## BRIDGE — Spoken, over a dramatic beat drop “I'm not saying she's incapable of empathy.” Record scratch. “I'm saying her empathy appears to require unanimous approval from the committee of herself.” Beat. “Objection!” “Overruled!” “On what grounds?” “BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE YOU'RE BEING DISRESPECTFUL!” Beat drops. Your Honor, the prosecution rests. The defendant has just objected to her own cross-examination. And, for the record... The defendant is also the judge. ## Breakdown — Call and Response WHO'S THE VICTIM? “ME!” WHO'S THE EXPERT? “ME!” WHO'S TO BLAME? “OBVIOUSLY, YOU!” WHO NEEDS THERAPY? “NOT ME! THAT'S YOUR ISSUE!” WHO'S BEING ILLOGICAL? “WHY ARE YOU SO HOSTILE?!” Music stops. Girl. That's not an answer. That's a hostage situation with adjectives. ## Final Chorus — Bigger, Funnier, Full Choir NARCISSIST! NARCISSIST! She's got a mirror for a psychiatrist! Every accusation is a self-portrait, Every conversation is a soloist! NARCISSIST! NARCISSIST! The irony is apocalyptic! She believes, therefore it's true, And if it isn't true, it's something wrong with you! SHE'S THE SUN! SHE'S THE STARS! She's the whole damn solar system! SHE'S THE TRUTH! SHE'S THE LAW! And dissent's a form of terrorism! NARCISSIST! NARCISSIST! Oh, the joke is getting difficult to miss! If the world revolves around you, darling, THAT'S NOT LOVE. THAT'S A GEOCENTRIC CRISIS! ## Outro — Sweet, Innocent, Absolutely Savage She blocked me. She healed. She posted. She revealed. Three quotes about accountability, And none about what she did. She found herself. She lost the plot. She learned the word narcissist... And forgot the word hypocrite. Whispered over the final synth: “It's not always projection, darling.” Beat. “But isn't it interesting when it is?” END.
