[Intro] Ooo ooo ooo ooo oo oo oo oo oo Ooo ooo ooo ooo oo oo oo oo oo [Hook] There's a vending machine in the parking lot That only takes real tears as payment (Please insert feelings here) And all it sells are masks that fit But, cu-customer service ain't responding (Your call is important to us) [Transition] Ooo ooo ooo ooo oo oo oo oo oo Ooo ooo ooo ooo oo oo oo oo oo [Verse 1 - Jason Voice] Hey, I think your machine ate my pain Could you check if it's stuck in there somewhere? I've been smiling for three straight days And my face is starting to tear, tear, tear! [Robot Voice] ("Please hold while we process your transaction") [Chorus - Jason Voice] I've got receipts for all my rage But the refund policy's unclear (We value your emotional business) There's static leaking through my face And the warranty's expired here [Robot Voice] "Please h-hold while we- we- processing-" "Connecting to available representative..." [Verse 2 - Jason Voice] "Thank you for calling, this is Sarah, how can I-" [Sarah Voice] "Look, I've been on hold forever, and this machine Took everything I had, and now it's keeping-" [Jason Voice] "Sir, I understand, if you could just explain-" [Sarah Voice] "No, YOU explain why I can't feel ANYTHING!" [Jason Voice] "Sir, please... I'm trying to help..." [Sarah Voice] "Well try HARDER!" [Chorus 2 - Sarah Voice] I've got the voicemails full of rage And these walls are closing in! ("Remember to maintain our standard greeting") There's makeup on my sleeves And the bathroom's empty now!! [Transition] Ooo ooo ooo ooo oo oo oo oo oo Ooo ooo ooo ooo oo oo oo oo oo Ooo ooo ooo ooo oo oo oo oo oo... [Breakdown] [Bridge / Breakdown - Sarah Voice] There's a vending machine in the parking lot That only takes real tears as payment [Jason Voice] (“Please insert feelings here”) [Sarah Voice] And all it sells are masks that fit [Jason Voice] But, su-someone else is standing there (“Your pain is important to us”) [Insane Face melting Guitar Solo] [Jason Voice] "Thank you for calling, this is Sarah, how can I...," [Sarah Voice - Screams & Holds] Jason! [Explosion] [Final Chorus Reprise - Climax - Ending - Sarah and Jason Duet] We've got receipts for all our pain But the refund policy's unclear ("We value your emotional business") What're these feelings on my face? The situation is so dire here! [End of song] [Phone rings] "Hello?" [Robot Voice] "Thank you for calling the Emotional Processing Center." "Please listen carefully as our menu options have changed." "For English, press 1. Para Español, oprima 2." "For mask maintenance and repairs, press 1." "For warranty information, press 2." "For billing and emotional payment plans, press 3." "For emergency mask malfunction, press 4." "For authenticity concerns, press 5." "To speak with a feelings representative, press 0."