[Intro: phone tap, wiretap recording, field recording, answering machine, spoken, fragmented; glitchy vocal cuts, mock announcer tone] (scattered whispers, mic pops) uh—can you hear me? camera’s on ring light too hot your phone’s listening— ...always listening scroll-scroll-scroll-scroll— (laughing nervously) hi guys, smash that button, no wait— no wait— it’s buffering again [pause, distorted breath into mic] don’t worry the government already knows your password (ha-ha-ha-ha-ha...)
