Hand Me Down Rhymes (What Were We Thinking?)

Verse 1 [Spoken – stand-up delivery, slow build] So… my father taught me the alphabet backwards. Yes. Backwards. Because apparently that’s a normal life skill. [Spoken chant – exaggerated slow timing] Z… Y… X… W… V… U… T… S… R… Q… P… O… N… M… L… K… J… I… H… G… F… E… D… C… B… A… And I just want to pause there for a moment… because who on earth looks at a child and thinks: “you know what this kid needs? A reversed alphabet. For fun. No explanation. No context. Just… go.” I didn’t question it. I just became… fluent in confusion. Verse 2 [Spoken chant – slow, dramatic, slightly ridiculous] O… R… N… I… T… H… O… R… H… Y… N… C… H… U… S… Yes. That’s a real word. Or at least it’s a real crime against children. He’d make me say it like it was completely normal. Like I was going to need it later in life. I did not. I have never once been in a situation where that word saved me. I’d trip over it, start again… and he’d just stand there like, “Go on. You’re nearly employable.” Spoken (audience style, teasing) Did you sing along with that? Don’t lie to me. You did. Everyone did. And now don’t tell me you didn’t learn it too… Because I’ve had grown adults look me in the eye and go: “What the heck was THAT?” Which is funny… because you definitely knew it. You just blocked it out for survival. Chorus (light, rhythmic, playful) And I passed it on, like it was perfectly normal like it belonged in every household formal no lesson plan, no educational guide just family traditions I can’t quite justify and now I hear my children say the same strange things in their own way Verse 3 And now I sit back and I’ve got to admit this might not have been… educationally legit But there’s something oddly comforting in it like nonsense that just… fits From his voice to mine, then down the line a perfectly useless way to mark time and maybe that’s all it ever was meant to be a family joke… disguised as memory OUTRO (spoken – soft comedic fade) [Spoken chant fading, slower and softer] Z… Y… X… W… V… U… T… S… R… Q… P… O… N… M… L… K… J… I… H… G… F… E… D… C… B… A… Honestly… if you can’t beat it… you just pass it on and confuse the next generation.