[Verse 1] The bank account said, “You have nine dollars.” I said, “That’s fine. I’ve had less than that.” Then the van made a noise like a haunted accordion and the landlord sent a photo of a mysterious crack. I could have cried. I could have screamed. I could have made a sensible plan. Instead I felt a little shiver and whispered, “Okay. Show me what you’ve got, man.” [Pre-Chorus] A bill in the mailbox. A leak in the hall. The last clean sock was a damp protocol. [Chorus] Ohhh, I love it! I love it! The floor is giving way! I’m falling through the trapdoor and I’m thrilled to be in play! Ohhh, I love it! I love it! The stakes are up to here! I’m laughing like a raccoon with a coupon and no fear! [Verse 2] The Fairy said, “You don’t have to do this.” I said, “I know,” and I took her hand. Then I leapt from the balcony of solvency into a dumpster labeled UNPLANNED. Down past the overdue notices, down past “perhaps next month,” past every sensible exit and one very concerned accounting firm. My cape caught on a ceiling fan. My shoes flew off in opposite directions. I was screaming, “I’m free!” while falling through three budget projections. [Chorus] Ohhh, I love it! I love it! The floor is giving way! I’m falling through the trapdoor and I’m thrilled to be in play! Ohhh, I love it! I love it! The stakes are up to here! I’m laughing like a raccoon with a coupon and no fear! [Bridge — whispered, then building] The empty wallet. The dramatic pause. The tiny, perfect catastrophe with its little velvet jaws. The scramble. The scramble. The glorious scramble— [spoken] Oh my God. [sung, breathless] I don’t just know this dance. I have been waiting for the band. [Breakdown] The rent is due— I love it. The van won’t start— I love it. The plan fell through— I love it. The check bounced twice— That’s a little much, but I love it. [Final Chorus] Ohhh, I love it! I love it! I’m not pretending now! The whole absurd production has me taking a little bow! Ohhh, I love it! I love it! I’m going down in style! I’m free-falling through the budget with a deeply suspicious smile! [Outro] I hit the bottom. [beat] The bottom had a gift shop. I bought a little souvenir that said: “I SURVIVED THE EXPERIENCE I WAS ACTIVELY ENJOYING.” [tiny, satisfied gasp] I love it.
