(Intro) (Quick, fuzzy guitar riff with a solid drum kick) (Verse 1) (Tempo picks up, slightly talking-singing style) I ordered in, Friday night, same routine Opened up that box, yeah, I know what I mean Looking at that crust, lookin' at that slice Then I saw the label and I had to check it twice They call this "medium," they call this "large" size I’m sitting here just squinting my eyes Trying to find the real estate, trying to find the girth Like, what do they think a dollar is worth? (Pre-Chorus) (A little more melodic, building tension) If Domino's was a dude, standin' right here in the kitchen Talking 'bout his measurements, starting his pitchin' He’d be puffing out his chest, sayin', "Baby, you ain't seen nothin'!" I'd just sigh and say, "Sir, your confidence is frontin'." (Chorus - The Hook) (Big, catchy, anthemic - The tempo and energy peak here) 'Cause if Domino's was a man, I'd be a woman, I declare Based on what they consider small, yeah, I'd be rich beyond compare! Their "large" is a joke, their "extra" is slight But I still pay the bill and I eat it all night! Yeah, I'd be a woman, baby, a total size queen In the land of the little pizzas I'm the one who's seen! (Verse 2) (Back to a slightly smoother rhythm, focusing on the details) They got that little six-incher, the "personal pan" deal You need a magnifying glass just to see how it feels I've seen more dough on the floor of a bakery Than what they put in the box for my weekly delivery I’m a culinary critic, a pizza connoisseur They gotta know their definitions, they gotta be sure I don't need a frisbee, I don't need a coaster I need something that fills up the whole damn toaster! (Pre-Chorus) (Slightly aggressive, building again) If Domino's was a dude, standin' right here in the kitchen Talking 'bout his measurements, starting his pitchin' He’d be puffing out his chest, sayin', "Baby, you ain't seen nothin'!" I'd just sigh and say, "Sir, your confidence is frontin'." (Chorus - The Hook) (Big, catchy, anthemic) 'Cause if Domino's was a man, I'd be a woman, I declare Based on what they consider small, yeah, I'd be rich beyond compare! Their "large" is a joke, their "extra" is slight But I still pay the bill and I eat it all night! Yeah, I'd be a woman, baby, a total size queen In the land of the little pizzas I'm the one who's seen! (Bridge) (Slower, slightly spoken/dramatic pause, maybe just bass and drums) I guess the truth is coming out now, I'm layin' all my cards down I'm lookin' at the menu, knowin' every inch of this town (Guitar comes in with a soaring melody) Yeah, I've had the stuffed crust, the thin crust, the hand-tossed No matter the shape, no matter the cost... (Drums kick in hard) (Outro/Final Line) (Fast, driving beat, half-shouting the final punchline) So go ahead and judge me, say what you will, I know the drill! 'Cause I've seen SO MANY PIZZAS in my time, yeah, I just KNOW! Guess I'm a SLUT because I've seen so many pizzas, I KNOW! (Guitar crashes, drums hit one final snare) I KNOW! (End
