[verse] [Male]: We met at the bar, she was drinking a stout! She knew every lyric to the songs I screamed out! [Female]: I volunteer on the weekends, I rescue the dogs! I never get hangovers, I sleep like a log! [Male]: Her credit is perfect, her parents are nice! She never gives bad or unsolicited advice! [Female]: I’m basically faultless, I don't have a flaw! [Male]: She’s the most beautiful girl that I ever saw! [pre-chorus ] [Male]: We went back to her place, I was nervous as hell! The mood was romantic, it was all going swell! [Female]: I blew out the candles, I turned down the lights! [Male]: But I didn't know I'd need shades for tonight! [chorus ] [Both]: They always said she was an absolute catch! A girl with a glow that nobody could match! I thought it was a metaphor, I thought it was a joke! But I'm squinting my eyes and I'm smelling some smoke! [Male]: She took off her panties and opened her thighs And a ten-thousand lumen beam appeared before my eyes! [Female]: I told you I'm perfect, I got maximum class! [Female]: 'Cause the sun literally shines right out of my ass! [Male]: Yeah, it's blinding! [verse] [Male]: I went down south to perform like a champ But I had to pull back from the halogen lamp! [Female]: It’s pretty bright, so just be careful dude! It’s a natural occurrence, so don't be a prude! [Male]: It's lighting the room up, it's casting a beam! Like staring right into a high-beam machine! [Female]: I don't need a nightlight, I don't pay for power! [Male]: I'm getting a sunburn from half of an hour! [pre-chorus] [Male]: I reached for the sunscreen, I reached for the zinc! [Female]: You're making a massive deal out of a kink! [Male]: It isn't a kink, it's a solar flare! I need protection to go back down there! [chorus] [Both]: They always said she was an absolute catch! A girl with a glow that nobody could match! I thought it was a metaphor, I thought it was a joke! But I'm squinting my eyes and I'm smelling some smoke! [Male]: She inserted a finger and said it's your call! As she started making shadow puppets on the far wall! [Female]: I told you I'm perfect, I got maximum class! [Female]: 'Cause the sun literally shines right out of my ass! [bridge] [Male, hyperventilating]: Is it nuclear fusion?! Is it radioactive?! Am I gonna mutate?! I can literally see the X-ray of my own skull when I look down there! [Female, totally unfazed]: Do you want to keep going or do I need to put a lampshade on it? [Male]: No, no! I'm into it! I just need some SPF 50 and a welding mask! [Drum sticks click: One, two, three, four!] [guitar solo | fast, melodic pop-punk shredding, extremely upbeat] [chorus] [Both]: She's glowing, she's beaming, she's lighting the way! I'm wearing my sunglasses day after day! I thought it was poetry, I thought it was sweet! But I'm getting a tan from the literal heat! [Male]: She took off her pants and she got on the bed! And a ten-thousand lumen beam shot at my head! [Female]: I told you I'm perfect, I got maximum class! [Female]: 'Cause the sun literally shines right out of my ass! [outro] [Male]: Praise the sun! [Female]: You're welcome! [Both]: Yeah! (Final guitar crash, amp feedback)
