[Verse 1] You made a courtroom out of every room Kept my name in your mouth like a loaded tune I learned to eat quiet at the kitchen table Smile for the picture while the house stayed unstable My sister sent a message, I deleted the proof Couldn’t tell her what was happening under this roof You called me ungrateful, then asked me to stay So I folded up my anger and smoked it away [Pre-Chorus] I kept the fan on high, kept the blinds pulled tight Turned a little glass bowl into a fake goodnight But every breath I borrowed made the ceiling close I was disappearing just to keep you close [Chorus] Smoke in front of me, smoke behind me I’m hiding from you inside it Your voice in the hallway, your blame beside me I wore your damage like a climate Smoke in front of me, smoke behind me I thought I needed it to breathe Then you walked out, and the room got wider There was finally some air for me [Verse 2] She left with two bags and the blue kitchen mug No speech at the doorway, no final fake hug The lock turned once, then the whole place changed Like somebody lifted a weight from my rib cage I found old receipts underneath the bed Little dates and apologies I never said Called my mother back, let the phone ring through For the first time in years, I had news that was true [Pre-Chorus] I rolled another cloud, watched it bend by the sink Caught my face in the window and made myself think This isn’t peace if I need smoke to pretend This isn’t love if I’m scared of the end [Chorus] Smoke in front of me, smoke behind me I’m hiding from you inside it Your voice in the hallway, your blame beside me I wore your damage like a climate Smoke in front of me, smoke behind me I thought I needed it to breathe Then you walked out, and the room got wider There was finally some air for me [Bridge] I washed the cup, changed the sheets, opened every door Found a crack in the wall I never noticed before The quiet felt violent, then it started feeling kind A little empty space can save a crowded mind I still flinch when footsteps stop outside Still wake up reaching for a reason to hide But healing ain’t a hallway where the old fear waits It’s choosing not to answer when it comes to the gate [Final Chorus] Smoke in front of me, smoke behind me I’m not hiding from you inside it Your voice getting smaller, my pulse getting stronger I can hear my own life rising Smoke in front of me, smoke behind me I thought I needed it to breathe Now the window stays open, the floor feels steady And there’s room for the person I’m trying to be [Outro] The smoke thins out by the morning The house still holds what it held But I can stand in the doorway And I don’t feel trapped in myself
