[Verse] Tried to fry an egg it turned to mush Burned my toast now it's just dust Spaghetti's stuck like it's in a fight I think my cooking's lost its appetite [Chorus] Oh I can't cook don't ask me to try Every recipe makes my kitchen cry I burned the water and charred my tea Lord have mercy it’s a chefless me [Verse 2] Chopped some onions they chopped my pride Boiling pasta sent my soul to hide Baking cookies became a smoky haze Oh my oven's seen some better days [Bridge] Even my dog won't eat my stew He's howling like it's something new Neighbors complain about the smell next door I'm a one-chef apocalypse I implore [Chorus] Oh I can't cook don't ask me to try Every recipe makes my kitchen cry I burned the water and charred my tea Lord have mercy it’s a chefless me [Verse 3] Microwave beeped but I didn't recall What I made exploding like a fireball Potatoes turned like a science experiment I think my genius just ain't apparent