------------------------------------ Ella © 2025 @ethereal_chaoscore ------------------------------------ Okay, at first, I wanted this to be a Fey song, but then I thought that would be "unhealthy" or something like that. I don't really know what my thought prossess was while writing this, but I'm about to go to bed- then I had some dumb anxious thoughts about future stuff. This happens randomly and it's not really why I wrote this song, I wrote this song because I was curious if there was really anyone who had a very odd and strange sleep schedule where they wake up at 2 or 4 in the morning A LOT and just DON'T FALL BACK ASLEEP for whatever reason. I've been told that when that happens, I should write whatever's on my mind at the time. I always liked the idea of doing this, but I never really do it, ya know? Anyway, did this one for fun and for some other reason I'll remember later on. Goodnight to all! --------------------------------------- AND I JUST REMEMBERED WHAT AND WHY I WROTE THIS SONG! Sooooo a long while back I had Spiritual Warfare and I kinda wanted to write about it like this as kinda a metaphor at was I was feeling at the time. I thought I heard trumpets late at night and I panicked because I wasn't... gone if that makes sense. If anyone who listens to this is a Christian, this might make sense: Rapture. Yes, end of the world stuff. (this was because I was reading the bible and went to church and heard some stuff that freaked me out more than it should've.) I was so scared and worried at some point once I was told or, I don't know FELT that my faith was lacking, i would have mental breakdowns. I would wake up crying, praying, trying to feel and understand. I can't really put it into words, but during that time, my sleepless nights just got more and more... I don't want to say traumatic cause that's not exactly what the experience was about, but that's what I felt at the time. I was dealing with apathy and so much anxiety that I was so in my head that I couldn't think straight, therefore, couldn't sleep and because my thoughts where so strongly on worrying about my faith in God or that He isn't 'hearing' mean in my prayers... I suddenly lost my train of thought. I'm sorry, I'm tired. Anyway, THAT was what this song is about and THAT is why Fey has suddenly came into this weird set in my brain and has stayed there. I almost want to call her the daughter of demons because it turns out that she was there before I made her. I feel like I don't really deal with this now, but the fact that I did still haunts me for some reason. Is that bad? (I'm okay now, I think. but now i'm curious, has anyone else dealt with this or had something like this happen to them?) --------------------------------------- [Intro]: Dear Diary, my anxiety crawls inside of me We all know honestly, that sweet dreams are made of these.... [verse 1]: Insomnia Angel kissed me goodnight Told me sad stories and sang lullabies That were gory, night's never boring Tucked me in tight, almost suffocating [chorus]: I can't sleep, I can't dream And I'm scared beyond belief I can't scream, only weep As the dark thoughts start to creep I don't know what to do Pray to God? Call on you? Fey's whispering as nightmares seduce (me) I don't dream like I used to.... (sleep) [verse 2]: Sugar high, don't know why Maybe sweets help me not cry Myself to sleep into a nightmarish dream Maybe Fey's the dark angel Watching over me I count the sheep one by one They end up bleeding (this is wrong...) When I write this poetry I pray to God that hopefully That she will leave me be Time to throw a pity party [chorus]: I can't sleep, I can't dream And I'm scared beyond belief I can't scream, only weep As the dark thoughts start to creep I don't know what to do Pray to God? Call on you? Fey's whispering as nightmares seduce (me) I don't dream like I used to.... (sleep) [outro]: Dear Diary, I wish you goodnight I pray that for once in my life, i'll sleep tight