POST SPOOK SPOOKS

POST SPOOK SPOOKS [INTRO] October creeping through the windowpane, Pumpkin spice dripping in the autumn rain, Scary movie night, got the gang on call. Yango got the snacks, Brenna brought the wine, Pat’s laughing at the demons on the television shrine, Matt’s already talking, hasn’t shut up once, Yolk Juice Mane just sparked another blunt. The screen starts bleeding, the speakers start to scream, Static turns to fingers reaching out from the machine, One flash, one crash, one supernatural swirl— WELCOME TO SPOOKERSON WORLD. [CHORUS] Spookerson World, we ain’t coming home, Candy corn zombies got us running through the maze of corn, Cinnamon vanilla in the midnight air, Rasta-colored treetops, dead leaves everywhere. Post Spook Spooks won’t let me sleep, Something in the hallway, something underneath, Pumpkin spice dreams and a nightmare high, We’re getting lost in October tonight. [VERSE 1 ] Crispy fall leaves got me feeling nostalgic, Orange-red trees looking damn near psychedelic, Pumpkin spice latte with the whipped cream thick, October got a grip and I ain’t fighting that shit. Blitzen the Huckleberry Hog on a crispy hog trot, Spiders spinning webs all over my spot, Now we’re knee-deep stuck in the thick mud maze, Yango fell twice, Pat’s been missing for days, Brenna screaming, “GUYS!” while she’s losing her shoe, Matt explaining every single thing the monsters do. Corn Husker Knights on a tractor made of bone, Kettle corn zombies coming crawling through the loam, Candy corn teeth and their buttery breath, Holy shit — I think one of ’em bit Matt. [PRE-CHORUS] We came for the cozy, We stayed from the crippling fright, There’s something in the cornfield, And it’s coming for me tonight The moon turned orange, The stars turned green, And the whole damn world smells like— HALLOWEEN. [CHORUS] Spookerson World, we ain’t coming home, Candy corn zombies got us running through the maze of corn, Cinnamon vanilla in the midnight air, Rasta-colored treetops, dead leaves everywhere. Post Spook Spooks won’t let me sleep, Something is stalking me in my dreams, Pumpkins ripping dabs all night, We’re getting lost in October tonight. [VERSE 2 ] Scary movie marathon, the ratings coming in, Main Girl Hotness? Nine point ten, Matt Talkability? 12,002 Then the gay sex demon starts crawling and he’s hiding behind you. Pat don’t believe in ghosts or ghouls, Says demons from Hell are a made-up rule, Got a Ouija board out and a smile on his face, Said, Come on, motherfuckers, show me something from the grave! If this shit’s real, then there’s life after death, So come on, Beezel Blunder Boy, I’m holding my breath! Three knocks on the ceiling, four scratches on the wall, Pat said, That’s the plumbing, as the pictures start to fall. Frankenstein’s monster in the kitchen making toast, Vampires at the window and a poltergeist ghost, Werewolves in the village eating everybody whole, Ghostface on the couch taking bong rips from the bowl. Now I’m watching horror films until a quarter past four, Can’t close my eyes ‘cause there’s something at the door, Every creak’s a murderer, every shadow’s got teeth— POST SPOOK SPOOKS WON’T LET ME SLEEP! [VERSE 3 ] Made a pile of dirt and we rolled all around, Brought some horse hay bales and we spread ’em on the ground, Had a cozy little setup, thought the night was going great, Till a fucking horse appeared and kicked right through the gate. Horse busted in, started tearing up the house, Brenna grabbed a broom, Yango jumped onto the couch, HORSE KICKED MATT IN THE FACE. Knocked his tongue right out — then Matt’s tongue flicked me off and started spouting piss right out Pat said, “That’s a miracle, I think I found my faith,” Matt tried to talk but only drooled upon his plate. Fire pit burning with the Spirits of the Gods, Mulled wine flowing while we’re howling at the fog, Jay rips in a pile of leaves Ping-pong-eyed demon with a crooked grin, One eye looking outward, one eye looking in, Said, “I’M THE GHOST OF SPOOKERSON, JUST LOOK AT MY PING PONG EYES” Bro, I don’t even know how the fuck we survived. [FINAL CHORUS] Spookerson World, we ain’t coming home, Candy corn zombies got us running through the maze of corn, Cinnamon vanilla in the midnight air, Rasta-colored treetops, dead leaves everywhere. Post Spook Spooks won’t let me sleep, Something in the hallway, something fucking chasing me, Oh shit it’s Abraham Lincoln with a fresh axe from a tree, How the hell he get in my garage again? Guess we’re getting lost in October— it never ends [OUTRO] Woke up on the couch, everybody still asleep, Rain upon the window, autumn leaves across the street, Maybe it was all just a cinnamon fever dream. Blitzen’s by the fireplace, Apollo’s at the door, Pat’s still speaking in tongues, Yango’s snoring on the floor, Brenna’s under blankets, morning fog across the lawn, Matt’s jaw is normal and the horse is finally gone.