Audit of the Holy

They said keep records So I did I kept the ledger in my ribcage Inked in things they couldn’t stage Every “amen” came with interest Every “blessing” locked in a cage They sold me light with a payment plan Fine print stitched in my name Told me pain was proof of favor Funny how it all felt the same They built a throne out of hunger Then called it holy design Taught me to starve for a promise While they were eating divine I did the math in the margins I found the theft in the prayer You called it faith when it vanished I call it nobody there Audit the holy Run every vow through flame Nothing but echoes Signing in somebody else’s name Audit the body Count every bruise like gold You said “be worthy” But never said “be whole” I seen a prophet flip mercy Like product out the back door Seen a sermon priced different Depending who hit the floor They said the truth was a ladder But every rung had a fee And every step that I climbed up Just took a piece out of me Mama said “child be patient” God got a plan for your ache But plans don’t answer at midnight When all the silence is fake So I rewrote the equation Took back the debt and the due If heaven’s gated by suffering Then hell’s just honesty through and through Audit the holy Run every vow through flame Nothing but echoes Signing in somebody else’s name Audit the body Count every bruise like gold You said “be worthy” But never said “be whole” You kept the altar polished I kept the blood receipts You sanctified the damage I learned to name the leaks Every “forgive and forget” Was a lock without a key Every “die to yourself” Was a theft disguised as free I don’t need your heaven If it don’t include me Here’s the audit Here’s the sum Every silence paid in blood Here’s the interest Here’s the lie Every prayer that passed me by They said the kingdom wide open But the doorway measured hips And every soul that didn’t fit Got baptized in eclipse I don’t kneel I don’t owe I don’t bleed for your control You can keep your perfect story I prefer the parts you stole Audit the holy Tear every veil apart Nothing but systems Feeding on a faithful heart Audit the body Strip every label whole You said “be worthy” I chose to be in control They asked for proof I showed them scars They said that wasn’t god Good