[Intro] Aw yeah baby This one’s also for the boys I know at least one you mawfuckers can relate Jimmy, don’t you shake yer fuckin’ head at me boy I know this happened to you last week Alright listen up This shit happened to me yesterday and I’m still recoverin’ Golley [Verse 1] Woke up to my kid Hitting me with a bat The only thing though Under the blanket was my sack ouch, my balls [short instrumental] [Verse 2] Shook it off and went to make some breakfast Bacon, that’s a staple I’m always making messes Trying to clean up As I cook Didn’t give the hot grease A second look It was bubbling, Flying all over the place Once I turned and noticed, Some landed on my groinal space! Ouch, my balls! [short instrumental] [Verse 3] It wasn’t even nine o’clock And my boys have taken some damage I gotta go shower, relax for a bit, Maybe get a bandage Mid shower got me feeling right, Nothing could ruin this delight I decided to lay down Really soak it in My knee hit the wall Heard something rumblin’ Flying shampoo At the speed of sound No time to react (BOOM) A mighty pound Ouch, my balls! AGAIN? [short instrumental] [Verse 4] So glad it’s a Saturday I’m going back to bed Kids at a friends house The pillow meets my head But the peace don’t last long Increasing pitter patter down the hall From Curtis the dog, ready to play with a ball A stealthy jump Onto the bed My dog went crazy Landed on my other head Ouch, my balls! (CURTIS GAWD DAYUM BOY) [short instrumental] [Verse 5] Home ain’t safe no more I’m going to Menards Just gonna browse While guardin’ My Nards Hopped in the whip Easy ten minute drive Nothing happened Dear God, I survived! Pulled into the spot Turned off the engine Stepped outside Knew something was missing My wallet! Piss, Shit, Fuck dude It’s back at home Why do I always lose Slid back into my hoopty With not enough grace My left thigh was mother goosin’ My nuts got displaced! Ouch, my balls! (OH MYYYYY GAAAAAAAAWWWWD!) [short instrumental] [Verse 6] Ten minutes of pain Then home, I make it back Forget Menards (Aw come on, you could’ve grabbed your wallet and gone back, brother) Dude, cut me some slack Had to go shit now Makin’ it a quickie **stirring Mac and cheese** Aw fuck me it’s sticky Good thang we got a biday Crank that baby to fast mode The knob popped off, uh-oh Fucker started to BLOW! Ouch, my balls! (MY NUTS CANT TAKE ANYMORE) [short instrumental] [Hook Outro] Can’t take the torture Take me to the Mortchu Wary of everything About my sack’s future Can’t take the torture Take me to the Mortchu Wary of everything About my sack’s future Can’t take the torture Take me to the Mortchu Wary of everything About my sack’s future Can’t take the torture Take me to the Mortchu Wary of everything About my sack’s future [Spoken Word - No Music] (Damn bro, are you alright?) Yeah, I chopped my balls off No more baggin’ this guy (The fuck, brother?)