[Verse 1] I wake before the alarm does Check the breathing down the hall Sort the morning pills by color Return the overnight call Make the breakfast no one notices Find the form they lost again Drive across town for the appointment Talk the panic from a ledge By noon, I’ve been a nurse and driver Cook and advocate and friend Then somebody asks me gently, “So, when will you start working again?” [Chorus] Nothing I do becomes a paycheck Everything breaks if I stop They count every dollar I’m not earning Never count the disasters that I block They call it love so it isn’t labor Call it duty so it has no end I give more than full-time keeping people living Then get told I should contribute more to them Everything breaks if I stop Still, somehow, I don’t do enough [Verse 2] I know which voice can calm the shaking Which bill needs another appeal Which cupboard’s getting close to empty Which smile means somebody skipped a meal I fill the gaps between the systems Where the waiting lists begin Do the work of five departments That would never let a stranger in No lunch break, no paid vacation No sick day when my own body drops Just, “Thank God you’re always here for us” And, “Have you thought about getting a job?” [Chorus] Nothing I do becomes a paycheck Everything breaks if I stop They count every dollar I’m not earning Never count the disasters that I block They call it love so it isn’t labor Call it duty so it has no end I give more than full-time keeping people living Then get told I should contribute more to them Everything breaks if I stop Still, somehow, I don’t do enough [Verse 3] I have learned to look agreeable When they measure what I’m worth Grin and bear another lecture From someone absent from the work They say everyone is struggling Like that settles what is fair Then leave another bag beside me Certain I will handle what is there I cannot say, “I’m unavailable” When a life is on the line So the love I would have offered freely Consumes every piece of mine And when I ask for help or money They look wounded by the cost As if care appears from nowhere As if nothing would be lost [Bridge] Price the medication schedule Price the meals and midnight calls Price the rides and applications Price the hands that stop the falls Price the cleaning, crisis planning Case management, watchful nights Price the calm I keep performing So that everyone else sleeps all right Put each hour on an invoice Add the weekends I forgot You’ll find the missing income Inside everything my labor bought I am not asking for a monument I am asking for relief Care should not require a person To disappear beneath the need [Final Chorus] Everything I do deserves accounting Even when no paycheck comes You can value what I’m giving Without asking why I haven’t given more Love may be the reason that I do it Love does not erase the weight And a family kept from falling Is not proof the work can wait Everything breaks if I stop That should tell you what it costs If you need me standing here Then help me stand Before I’m lost [Outro] Morning waits outside the window There’s another list to start They call me unemployed While everybody’s life Is clocked in On my heart
