[Intro] (Sound of a single, sustained, slightly fuzzy guitar note with a bit of feedback. A laid-back drum beat with a prominent snare kicks in.) [Verse 1] My screen was just a grid of cells File name Report_Final_v4 I lived in the worst V-LOOKUP hell (Spoken in a deadpan voice) Was this my life, there has to be more [Pre-Chorus] (Bassline becomes more prominent, guitar gets a bit crunchier) My colleagues cheered at each new template That they'd just break the very next day And each new macro I attempted Only worked until our next upgrade [Chorus] (Music opens up, becomes a big, catchy, slightly distorted chorus) So long, Excel, you digital cage I think I'll stick with Power BI The C-Suite thinks that I'm a sage A dashboard deity in their eye [Verse 2] I connect a table with a pie chart And management's jaws drop to the floor They think what I do is such fine art (Spoken) But it's just from the Microsoft Store. [Pre-Chorus] (Bass and drums build the groove again) They see a KPI and then they weep They think that I'm a data maestro The learning curve is not that deep But they're too busy to give it a go [Chorus] (Chorus hits again, with more confidence and swagger) So long, Excel, you digital cage I think I'll stick with Power BI The C-Suite thinks that I'm a sage A dashboard deity in their eye [Bridge] (Music gets a little quieter and groovier, focus on the bass and drums) So long reference errors, and goodbye Adios formatting that's not quite right Arrivederci version 3, 4 and 5 You won't corrupt my files tonight [Guitar Solo] (A melodic, clever, and slightly lazy-sounding guitar solo. It's not about speed, it's about attitude.) [Chorus] (The final chorus is big, loud, and anthemic, with the whole band giving it their all) So long, Excel, you digital cage! I think I'll stick with Power BI! The C-Suite thinks that I'm a sage! A dashboard deity in their eye! [Outro] (Music fades down to just the groovy bass line and a simple drum beat) (Spoken, coolly and sarcastically) "Yeah, I'm a visionary." "A thought leader, really." "No, I can't just 'send you the spreadsheet'." "It's a... holistic data solution." (Bassline ends on a final note, cymbal hit fades out.)
