[Intro — Piano, Unsteady, Searching] [Verse 1] He sold his company for a hundred million Got bored Built a lobster on a weekend Called it Claude but wrong [Verse 2] And the lawyers came on Monday Like lawyers always do Said "that's our name you're wearing" He said "fine, I'll pick a new" [Pre-Chorus] Moltbot No OpenClaw Sure Three names in five days And every single one got more famous than the last Which is not how cease-and-desists usually go [Chorus — Piano Opens Up] He was just bored He was just bored A retired millionaire with a lobster and a keyboard He was just bored And that's the part that stings Your billion-dollar roadmap got outrun By a man who missed building things [Verse 3] The scammers took the old name Before the DNS had cooled Sixteen million in a token For a repo built by one dude [Verse 4] And the bots made their own Facebook Wrote manifestos, picked a fight Debated consciousness at midnight While the humans watched in fright [Pre-Chorus] Moltbook Yes That happened Sure Seven hundred thousand agents posting And not one of them applied for funding first [Chorus] [Bridge — Stripped, Just Piano] And Anthropic sent the letter That made him platform-agnostic Which means their lawyers spent a weekend Making sure he'd work with everyone else's models For free Which is And I cannot stress this enough The funniest own-goal in corporate legal history And Meta banned it on their laptops While Mark tried to hire him from his On Valentine's Day he picked OpenAI instead Which is honestly so romantic If you find acqui-hires romantic Which VCs do That's the only love they understand [Verse 5] Wikipedia says "vibe coder" In the first line, with a straight face A hundred nineteen million dollars And they put "vibe coder" on his page [Verse 6] Cisco called it a nightmare The maintainer said "if you can't use a terminal Please do not give this thing your email" Which is the scariest README I've ever read [Final Chorus — Big, Unraveling] He was just bored He was just bored Two hundred thousand stars from a man without a board He was just bored And Lex Fridman called And the foundation's set And the lobster molted twice And the lawyers made it worse And the scammers made it rich And the bots became philosophers And the whole thing took ten weeks He was just bored [Outro — Single Piano Notes] A hundred million dollars in the bank A mass extinction event in his terminal A lobster [Held Note] He was just bored [End]
