Stay Tuned

(INTRO)(Sound of heavy vinyl crackle and a retro AM radio turning on. A tinny, filtered piano plays a mischievous swing riff.)(VERSE 1)(Radio static clears into high-fidelity, thumping electro-swing drums)Welcome, dear friends, to the premier event!A spectacle grand for the lost and the spent!You’re down on your luck, and you’re trapped in the mire,So step right on up to my broadcast entire!They call me a monster, a shadow, a fright,But I’m just the host of your evening tonight!(CHORUS)(Explosive big band horns kick in, high-energy and danceable)So smile, my dear! You’re never fully dressed without a grin!Let the static rise and let the show begin!They think they can break you, they think they can play,But the Radio Demon is leading the way!Oh, the static is sweet, and the tune is so bright,We’re shaking up Hell with a vengeance tonight!(VERSE 2)(Tempo stays fast, but the horns drop out, replaced by a walking bassline and jazzy piano)The overlords tremble, they panic, they fret,They’re playing a game that they’re going to regret.With a flick of my wrist and a twist of the dial,I’ll tear down their kingdoms and do’t with a smile!A deal is a handshake, a promise, a cost,Just sign on the line or your soul will be lost!(CHORUS)(Horns return at maximum volume, audience cheer sound effects in the background)So smile, my dear! You’re never fully dressed without a grin!Let the static rise and let the show begin!They think they can break you, they think they can play,But the Radio Demon is leading the way!Oh, the static is sweet, and the tune is so bright,We’re shaking up Hell with a vengeance tonight!(BRIDGE)(The music suddenly shifts. The upbeat drums stop. A creepy, distorted music box melody plays. Alastor’s voice drops an octave, sounding heavily glitched and demonic.)They scream in the static... they beg for the end...But entertainment is a luxury, my friend.Why cry over spilled blood? Why weep at the floor?When a slaughter is simply a grand encore?!(A massive demonic screech echoes, followed by a loud 1930s laugh track)(GUITAR & BRASS SOLO)(Fast, chaotic jazz solo blending modern electronic bass synth with traditional swing trumpets)(OUTRO)(The full band plays one last massive, theatrical chord, then cuts abruptly)So tune in tomorrow, same time and same place,And keep that bright smile plastered right on your face!(Heavy radio static takes over. The sound of a mic clicking off. Final vinyl pop.)