The Ghost of What I Used to Be (my past is haunting me)

female vocals, electric guitar, folk, blues, harmonies, soul, acoustic, powerful, heartfelt, 60’s soul, electric, melodic

[in the style off Etta James with the Tempations]

[My Past is Haunting Me]

(Verse 1)
I’ve got a garden with a sixty years of bloom
And a house with polished floors in every room
I built a life of sunlight, lace, and grannies tea
Now I’ve convinced myself there was nothing left of me
That lived inside that girl of twenty-two
The one who they broke, the one who never knew
My silence wasn’t isn’t healing, it’s just a holding breath
A way of living life while dancing close to death.

(Chorus)
But now my past is haunting me, it’s knocking at the glass
The ghost of who I used to be is watching seasons pass
I’ve buried it so deep, I thought the earth had turned to stone
But sixty years of secrets leave you feeling all alone
It’s a shadow in the hallway, it’s a tremor in my hand
The girl I tried to leave behind is making her demand.

(Verse 2)
I wore the rings, I raised the kids, I played the part
I kept a heavy padlock on the cellar of my heart
When the news comes on the screen, or a stranger’s voice is loud
It’s like a sudden thunderhead inside a summer cloud
They told me back then, "Hush, just put it in a drawer"
"Don't let it touch your wedding plans or walk across the floor"
So I folded up the terror and I tucked away the shame
And I spent six decades trying to forget his face and name.

(Chorus)
But now my past is haunting me, it’s knocking at the glass
The ghost of who I used to be is watching seasons pass (pass)
I buried it so deep, I thought the earth had turned to stone
But sixty years of secrets leave you feeling all alone (alone)
It’s a shadow in the hallway, it’s a tremor in my hand (hand)
The girl I tried to leave behind is making her demand.

(Bridge)
Why does it hurt so much more now that I am old?
Why does the memory feel so sharp and twice as cold?
Is it because the finish line is coming into view? (View)
And I’m still that broken girl who didn’t know what to do?
I’m tired of the guarding, I’m tired of the lie
I want to let her speak before I have to say goodbye. (Goodbye)

(Guitar Solo - Slow, Melancholic, then building to a Crescendo)

(Outro)
The girl is in the mirror now, she’s looking back at me
Sixty years of shackles, trying to be free
I’m whispering her story to the quiet of the night
Turning on the lamp...
Bringing her...
Into the light.
(Into the light)
Into the light.
(Into the light)

Getting the help I need now, 
hands to hold in the night, (night)
Talking through the trauma,
Steeling my mind for the fight. (Fight)

[fade out]

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[in the style off Etta James with the Tempations] [My Past is Haunting Me] (Verse 1) I’ve got a garden with a sixty years of bloom And a house with polished floors in every room I built a life of sunlight, lace, and grannies tea Now I’ve convinced myself there was nothing left of me That lived inside that girl of twenty-two The one who they broke, the one who never knew My silence wasn’t isn’t healing, it’s just a holding breath A way of living life while dancing close to death. (Chorus) But now my past is haunting me, it’s knocking at the glass The ghost of who I used to be is watching seasons pass I’ve buried it so deep, I thought the earth had turned to stone But sixty years of secrets leave you feeling all alone It’s a shadow in the hallway, it’s a tremor in my hand The girl I tried to leave behind is making her demand. (Verse 2) I wore the rings, I raised the kids, I played the part I kept a heavy padlock on the cellar of my heart When the news comes on the screen, or a stranger’s voice is loud It’s like a sudden thunderhead inside a summer cloud They told me back then, "Hush, just put it in a drawer" "Don't let it touch your wedding plans or walk across the floor" So I folded up the terror and I tucked away the shame And I spent six decades trying to forget his face and name. (Chorus) But now my past is haunting me, it’s knocking at the glass The ghost of who I used to be is watching seasons pass (pass) I buried it so deep, I thought the earth had turned to stone But sixty years of secrets leave you feeling all alone (alone) It’s a shadow in the hallway, it’s a tremor in my hand (hand) The girl I tried to leave behind is making her demand. (Bridge) Why does it hurt so much more now that I am old? Why does the memory feel so sharp and twice as cold? Is it because the finish line is coming into view? (View) And I’m still that broken girl who didn’t know what to do? I’m tired of the guarding, I’m tired of the lie I want to let her speak before I have to say goodbye. (Goodbye) (Guitar Solo - Slow, Melancholic, then building to a Crescendo) (Outro) The girl is in the mirror now, she’s looking back at me Sixty years of shackles, trying to be free I’m whispering her story to the quiet of the night Turning on the lamp... Bringing her... Into the light. (Into the light) Into the light. (Into the light) Getting the help I need now, hands to hold in the night, (night) Talking through the trauma, Steeling my mind for the fight. (Fight) [fade out]

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