One day I had a best friend. Next day I had curtain bangs. Coincidence? Yeah, probably not. One, two, three, go! Changed my phone case to a sad banana Changed my laugh to a fake piranha Changed my coffee order twice Then she told me “you’re not nice” Okay but listen — I also changed my bedsheet, My opinion on parmesan cheese, And my walking speed in the Target parking lot. Change is cheap. She is not. I lost a friend but I got a new look That’s a fair trade in the group chat book She wrote “I miss the old you” – ha, which one? The one who laughed at your puns? She’s gone too, honey. Gone like my old nose. Just kidding. My nose is the same. But my vibe changed clothes. --- I think she left because I started saying “slay” Unironically. On a Tuesday. That’s valid. I’d leave me too. But also – She stopped asking how my day was. That happened before the hair dye. So. Change your ringtone, lose a friend Change your toothpaste, lose a friend Change your opinion on the movie ... Suddenly she’s unfollowing you. What’s next? Am I not allowed to switch my chip dip? This is tyranny with a lowercase ‘t’ And a side of lip gloss. I sent her a meme. She left me on read for six weeks. Then she posted “growth” with a sunset. Okay. So this is the part where I pretend I’m fine. And I am fine. I’m fine like a new password: One capital letter, one symbol, And total lack of access to the past. LOST A FRIEND GOT NEW SHOES CHANGED MY MIND SHE CHANGED TOO .... BUT THIS JACKET HAS ZIPPERS AND THEY WORK REALLY WELL ... NEW LOOK WINS AGAIN, BABY ... Goodbye... You never liked my laugh anyway.
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