[Intro - Spoken Word over sleigh bells and light synth pad] [Voice 1 (childish, curious)] “Mum? Why’s there a big bird in the bath?!” [Voice 2 folder child mimicking mum] “It’s still defrosting, love!” [giggles] [sleigh bells kick in, cue 70s and 80s Christmas style music] [Verse 1] The lights are up, the fire’s aglow, Tinsel hangs where it shouldn’t go. The radio’s playing the same old song, We hum along… someone sings it wrong. [Child's voice] "Mum! The cats are playing in the bath!" There's tinsel melting in the hearth There’s wrapping tape stuck in your hair, Left a carrot out for Santa's reindeer to share [Chorus - Catchy & Warm, children's choir] Why's the turkey in the bath, mum? It’s not where dinner’s s'posed to be! One cat licking his lips like it's already Christmas day! The other's staring like she's watching prime TV! There’s baubles underfoot and the tree lights won’t flash, But seriously, Mum… why’s there a turkey in our bath? [Verse 2] Dad’s gone rogue with the fairy lights, The lounge looks like Blackpool illuminations tonight. Granny’s asleep, false teeth hanging mid-carol tune, While we sip hot chocolate, watching for Santa flying by the moon. [Child's voice] "Mum? Can I stay up just a little bit more?" “Santa won’t come if you're pacing the floor!” We giggle, we plot, we sneak and we peek, But we do love this part of Christmas week. [Chorus - catchy and warm, children's choir] Why's the turkey in the bath, mum? It’s not where dinner’s s'posed to be! One cat licking his lips like it's already Christmas day! The other's staring like she's watching prime TV! There’s baubles underfoot and the tree lights won’t flash, But seriously, Mum… why’s there a turkey in our bath? [Bridge – Sweet Nostalgia, Light Groove] Its memories wrapped in paper and string, It’s the warmth that silly traditions bring. Old songs, new jokes, pulling crackers with glee. Christmas with family like it used to be, [Verse 3] The game will go wild, the paper crown won’t stay, Dad will lose the rules, so uncle will refuse to play. The chestnuts be burnt, who'll get the blame And will Auntie spill sherry in the Brussel sprouts again! There'll be crackers to snap, grandads drunk by afternoon Is it a book or a film? No wait! Uncle's miming a cartoon! And through it all, the panic, the mess, the din, Dinner will be ready a little late, but everyone will tuck in. [Chorus - catchy and warm, children's choir] Why's the turkey in the bath, mum? It’s definitely not where dinner’s s'posed to be! One cat licking his lips like it's already Christmas day! The other's staring like she's watching prime TV! There’s baubles underfoot and the tree lights won’t flash, But seriously, Mum… why’s there a turkey in our bath? [Outro – Spoken, Warm & Classic child mimicking mums voice:] "Now off to bed it's getting late… Santa won’t deliver your gifts at this rate!" [Soft sleigh bells and music fade out with a cheeky hum of the chorus.]
