yo uhhh lately every time.... yo uhhh lately every time i sit down to get outta my head the only thing i do instead is grab dat pen and make it span pages and pages and pages of a filthy mental land encased in the skull of a man who hope to someday understand what it do what it do how to spot a muthafucka that just take advantage of you cuz see i try to look for the good in every person i encounter even when their aura cloudy like mildew on a fountain but the curse in this hearse is i don’t learn this lesson i just stressin and second guessin while these parasites in my blindspots with they kind talks and sly plots and i’m writin these rhyme lots tryin to decode why i’m caught in these cycles like vinyl loops scratchin spirals in my chest and i confess i’m obsessed with dissectin my own kindness like it’s weakness like i gotta kill it off before it kill me off but that’s false bruh cuz bitch i ain’t soft nullus just raw to the bone like a storm torn open showin lightning yawnin in the marrow and i keep scribblin hollow barrows of thought in the margins like a scarecrow talkin to crows of my own shadow but it matter tho cuz every letter i scatter glow faint in the dark like a map of mistakes that lead back to a place i don’t wanna be at but i relapse each time like yo maybe this person different maybe this time they vision aligned with mine but nah slime they be masked up like cosmic bandits tryna siphon my shine and i be sittin there like why i ain’t see it why my radar broke why my trust always chokin on smoke why my hopes always coated in the same old joke like i’m the punchline of a universe that hate to explain it my radar broke why my trust always chokin on smoke why my hopes always coated in the same old joke like i’m the punchline of a universe that hate to explain itself... my radar broke why my trust always chokin on smoke why my hopes always coated in the same old joke like i’m the punchline of a universe that hate to contain itself... my radar broke why my trust always chokin on smoke why my hopes always coated in the same old joke like i’m the punchline of a universe that hate to contain itself... my radar broke why my trust always chokin on smoke why my hopes always coated in the same old joke like i’m the punchline of a universe that hate to be tame itself... my radar broke why my trust always chokin on smoke why my hopes always coated in the same old joke like i’m the punchline of a universe that hate to be tame itself... yo... listen bitch... my radar broke why my trust always chokin on smoke why my hopes always coated in the same old joke like i’m the punchline of a universe that hate to explain itself... i’m tryna maintain myself but this mental terrain unstable like a earthquake tryna flirt with a landslide and i can’t hide from the vibe that maybe i’m built too open-hearted for a world that weaponize open hearts as targets but fuck it i’m starvin for truth even if it bruise me i refuse to let illusions use me so i fuse these bruises into music like ooze drippin slow from a cracked soul pot watch it clot into metaphors i toss hot like shrapnel from a thought war and each bar roar with that nullus core roar that say yo i ain’t foldin cuz yes i hold wounds but wounds ain’t doom they just rooms where the light bloom when you brave enough to clean the gloom and boom it sonic booms into growth even when i’m ghosted by hope i still cope through scope of the pen jokin with my own brain like “yo do you trust them?” and my brain say “hell nah bruh not again,” but still i extend myself like a limb made of lessons never learned burnin through bridges like a pilgrim cursed but i’m done rehearsin the hurt for free i’m learnin to be discerning with energy see i’m finally spittin back at the pattern like “yo you ain’t gon’ flatter me into another tragedy” cuz nullus ain’t no bitch no pawn no target i’m shiftin my heart wit the grit of a starship driftin through hardships carvin arcs in the dark with a spark that refuses to depart even when i fall apart i’m art slime grime divine decline and climb combined in one long line that refuse to unwind and yo goddamn i’m still tryin... refuse to unwind and yo goddamn i’m still tryin.... refuse to unwind and yo goddamn i’m still tryin.... refuse to unwind and yo goddamn i’m still tryin.... refuse to unwind and yo goddamn i’m still tryin.... yuh... my radar broke why my trust always chokin on smoke why my hopes always coated in the same old joke like i’m the punchline of a universe that hate to explain itself... my radar broke why my trust always chokin on smoke why my hopes always coated in the same old joke like i’m the punchline of a universe that hate to contain itself... my radar broke why my trust always chokin on smoke why my hopes always coated in the same old joke like i’m the punchline of a universe that hate to be tame itself... refuse to unwind and yo goddamn i’m still tryin still writin still slicin through illusion with precision like a blade of intention sharpened in tension but i mention this i ain’t perfect but i’m purposed now i’m learnin now i’ll fucking bow to no one but myself fuck your bitch against that shelf, eaaasy dawg, im jut talkin mental health... boh boh boh boh boh you straight to hell ahhhhhh welll… and i exhale slow like smoke from a spell breakin through my ribcage swell as i dwell on the telltale signs of a mind rebel yellin “nullus you fell but you fell upward don’t you see?” and i’m like “maybe,” maybe i’m climbin in reverse cursin the curse while rehearsin the verse that disperses the hearse i drag behind me daily like a phantom weight that state of constant wait where fate fluctuate like glitchy gates in a maze i navigate... refuse to unwind and yo goddamn i’m still tryin.... refuse to unwind and yo goddamn i’m still tryin.... refuse to unwind and yo goddamn i’m still tryin.... refuse to unwind and yo goddamn i’m still tryin....
