My eyes keep finding the ground As though it knows where I am going My feet remember every turn Without the trouble of me knowing The day moves through me without asking I answer everything on cue And still I keep expecting something I don’t know what—I only do Little vials along the table Borrowed power, borrowed rest I keep feeding this small body Every answer I can guess They keep the quiet clockwork turning Keep each piece where it should be But nothing in their careful magic Tells me what to want for me I could cross another doorway But beginnings have a price And I cannot tear apart The little life I’ve kept alive So I stay for what it shelters For the life it lets me keep While a part of me keeps pacing Even when I ought to sleep Is there something ahead of me? A reason I might lift my eyes? Someone I can look forward to When tomorrow finally arrives? I know that I am loved already— That isn’t what I mean I have love all around me I want love ahead of me I tell myself to rest now To be kinder than I’ve been The words press softly at the surface But they never quite get in I know exactly what I should do Every reason, every fact But care remains a lovely thought That never quite becomes an act The hope I have is very quiet It has never made a speech It only keeps a little future Somewhere barely out of reach It asks no certainty or courage It gives no grand decree It only keeps one thought from settling: This is all there’ll ever be There is something ahead of me A reason I may lift my eyes Someone I can look forward to When tomorrow finally arrives I know that I am loved already And now I know what I mean I have love all around me I want love ahead of me In the meantime, I keep pacing— But sometimes I look up
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