[Intro] it's not you I can't stand it's her it's who I was when I was yours [Verse 1] I see your name and I don't flinch not for you for the version of me that used to check her phone every five minutes waiting on you to text back she apologized for things that weren't her fault she made herself smaller in rooms that were already too small she said she was fine when she wasn't fine she stayed when staying cost her everything she had left [Pre-Chorus] I'm not angry that you left I'm angry that I let you shrink me down that small I'm angry I let you I'm angry I let you [Chorus] I don't hate you I hate who I was with you the girl who apologized for taking up the room I don't hate you I hate that I let her disappear I hate that it took you leaving for me to notice she wasn't here she wasn't here [Verse 2] I found a text I never sent where I tried to explain why I felt so small around you even I didn't understand it then I read it now and I want to shake her I want to tell her run I want to tell her you don't owe anyone the version of yourself that keeps you quiet but I can't go back I can only watch the footage of someone I used to be disappearing in real time and not doing a single thing to stop it [Pre-Chorus] I'm not angry that you left I'm angry that I let you shrink me down that small I'm angry I let you I'm angry I let you [Chorus] I don't hate you I hate who I was with you the girl who apologized for taking up the room I don't hate you I hate that I let her disappear I hate that it took you leaving for me to notice she wasn't here she wasn't here [Bridge — sharper, less soft than the rest of the album] everyone keeps asking if I'm over you and I want to laugh because you were never the hard part the hard part is looking in the mirror and seeing someone who let herself get erased one apology one silence one small surrender at a time I'm not trying to get you back I never wanted you back I'm trying to get her back the one who existed before she learned that loving you meant disappearing I want her back I want her loud again I want her difficult again I want her taking up the whole room again I want her back not for you for me for me for me [Final Chorus] I don't hate you I never really did I hate the girl I was who thought small was how you stayed loved I don't hate you I hate that I let her go without even noticing without even noticing she was gone [Outro] it's not you it was never you it's her it's just her I'm not looking for you anymore I'm looking for her I'm looking for her I'm looking for her
