Yo... it's Shadow. I'm just... processing my grief... The best way I know how to. Music has always been there for me. So... Here we go. Down another soul, left another hole in my chest and heart It's a non-descript sound for the bold, but I cannot play the part It's a shame I ain't swole in this arm to arrest the dark Drowning in deep-seated thoughts, re-experiencing the moment Inner battle I fought, perpetually holding the omen Caught in a tangled knot, interrogating the motive: "If it was the right thing to do, tell me why does it feel so wrong?" And how long will the feeling of treason belong To a mind that is trapped in a self-sustained gloom? This misery grows, continually flows, unforgivingly sewn to my imminent doom. Whether wrong or not, I am totally unable to shrug this mental trickery Internal predicament, inner flame flickering Winds of the change are so bitter and blistering Pestilence hugging me, darkness is listening Love is ineffable, never acceptable Draft on the canvas is un-ex-cep-tion-al Tried in the bedroom sitting in the dark Execution was hollow and it missed every mark. Grief hits hard—straight in the chest Grief hits hard—feels like a theft Grief hits hard—don't know what to do Grief hits hard—tryin' to keep the gratitude Constantly expecting just to see you standing in the air Hard to accept it, but life was never truly fair Hoping he knew I was redirecting a future of pain Absorbing the agony, taking your loss to a deeper domain Where it screams from the ultimate essence of being Sensing your scent, re-instantiating the seeing Instantly bringing me back to the time when I could tell you every single little thing that was bothering me And I could tell that you were always right there standing tall for me And I could tell that you loved me unconditionally. Then reality hits and I'm standing in space Staring deep into the void, feeling heavy in my face Eyes become a broken levee, running completely out of grace And a wave of pure panic is washing the place Forced to face the cold fact that you're no longer here in this place. It isn't just that you're gone that relentlessly, ruthlessly kills me It's the weight of the choice that disturbingly, hauntingly fills me: I was the one who decided your fate And the only thing left to repay for you saving my life Was to sit right beside you while making the choice to end yours in the night... ...And that fuckin' kills me. Grief hits hard—straight in the chest Grief hits hard—feels like a theft Grief hits hard—don't know what to do Grief hits hard—tryin' to keep the gratitude
