*FRANKENSTEINS IN THE HOUSE*

[BAD LUCK LOOKS GOOD ON ME!] (The Freak Is Among Us — Monster Club Mix) [INTRO — LIGHTNING, VINYL CRACKLE, DEEP BASS] [Low rhythmic backing chant, distant] Pattern obsessive... Beat compulsive... Cast in disorder... [NICK — DEEP SIX-O'CLOCK NEWS ANCHOR VOICE] Good evening. I've inspected the merchandise. And I have several complaints. [RECORD SCRATCH] [CANDY — SMOKY, TEASING] Oh, Frankie, look at you! [NICK — FURIOUS] THAT'S EXACTLY THE PROBLEM! [BACKING CHANT — BUILDING] FREAK IS AMONG US! [MASSIVE CLUB BASS DROP — BRASS EXPLOSION] [CHORUS — CANDY LEAD, BILLY JOE HARMONIES] BAD LUCK LOOKS GOOD ON ME! Head-to-toe catastrophe! One eye winks, one knee squeaks, Still got the whole room watching me! BAD LUCK LOOKS GOOD ON ME! Stitched-up swagger, guaranteed! Call me crazy, wait and see— BAD LUCK LOOKS GOOD ON ME! [POST-HOOK — BACKGROUND GANG CHANT] FREAK IS AMONG US! HEY! HEY! PATTERN OBSESSIVE! BEAT COMPULSIVE! [VERSE 1 — NICK, FAST TECHNICAL RAP] Six o'clock shock, woke up on a slab, Looked in the mirror, said, "WHO DID THIS JOB?!" Hair from a weatherman, predicting a storm, One eyebrow crooked since the day I was born! Left eye's a poet, right eye's a fighter, One sees romance, one's looking to fight her! Nose from a critic who sniffed fancy wine, Now I smell trouble three blocks behind! [FLOW SWITCH — DOUBLE-TIME RAP] Left ear hears jazz, right ear hears news, One says "Good evening," one says "BAD NEWS!" Teeth from a trumpet player, jaw from a lawyer, I can't shut up and I'm nobody's employer! Tongue from a salesman, chin from a champ, Neck full of bolts like a roadside lamp! I asked for perfection, they handed me THIS— A BEAUTY DISASTER WITH AN ELECTRIC KISS! [RECORD STOP] [BILLY JOE — DRY, SPOKEN] Candy, he's got a point. [CANDY — LAUGHING] Which chin are we talking about? [BACKING CHANT — RHYTHMIC BUILD] CAST IN DISORDER! ONE! TWO! FREEZE! [CLUB DROP — CHORUS] BAD LUCK LOOKS GOOD ON ME! Head-to-toe catastrophe! One eye winks, one knee squeaks, Still got the whole room watching me! BAD LUCK LOOKS GOOD ON ME! Stitched-up swagger, guaranteed! Call me crazy, wait and see— BAD LUCK LOOKS GOOD ON ME! [VERSE 2 — NICK, AGGRESSIVE DOUBLE-TIME RAP] Shoulder from a wrestler, elbow from a clerk, One arm wants a handshake, one's allergic to work! Left hand's a pianist, right hand's a smith, Try playing the keyboard—IT SOUNDS LIKE A FIT! Chest from a strongman, ribs from a clown, Every time I breathe they make a funny sound! Heart from a poet, lungs from a horn, Every time I fall in love, THE FIRE ALARM'S ON! [FLOW SWITCH — DRIVING TURKISH CLARINET] Stomach from a baker, never satisfied, Had a seven-course dinner, now I need a side! Belly button wandered halfway down my vest, Doctor said "It's fashion." I SAID "GIVE IT A REST!" Hips from a dancer, backside from a king, Neither one knows what the other should swing! Knees from a drummer, calves from a mule, One foot went to ballet, one dropped out of school! Left shoe fourteen, right shoe eight, I asked for a body, GOT A SHIPPING MISTAKE! From my scalp to my soles, there's nobody like me— I'M A WALKING WARRANTY EMERGENCY! [RECORD SCRATCH] [CANDY — TEASING] Well, darling, show us what you've got! [BREAKDOWN — KICK, SNARE, LOW SUB BASS] [NICK — SPOKEN] Ladies... Prepare yourselves. [FRANKENSTEIN THROWS OFF HIS TORN JACKET] [BILLY JOE — SHOCKED] Oh, good heavens! [CANDY — LAUGHING] Honey! Put that jacket BACK ON! [NICK — OUTRAGED] WHAT THE— [LOUD CENSORING RECORD SCRATCH] [ONE BEAT OF TOTAL SILENCE] [BACKING VOICES — EXPLOSIVE] THE FREAK IS AMONG US! [16-BAR MONSTER CLUB DANCE EXPLOSION] [HUGE BASS HOUSE KICK, MONSTER BOOT STOMPS] [TURKISH CLARINET AND FIDDLE DUEL] [BRASS STABS, RUBBER BASS, ELECTRIC FUNK] [BACKING CHANT ON ALTERNATE PHRASES] PATTERN OBSESSIVE! BEAT COMPULSIVE! CAST IN DISORDER! FREAK IS AMONG US! [DJ — RHYTHMIC COUNT] ONE! TWO! FREEZE! [ONE BEAT FREEZE — COLOSSAL BASS DROP] [BRIDGE — CANDY, POWERFUL MELODIC ALTO] Thirteen candles, a black cat's stare, Broken mirror, but he doesn't care. Every wrong turn, every crooked seam, Somehow made a dancing machine! [NICK — HALF-SPOKEN] You mean... I actually look good? [BILLY JOE — DRY] Let's not get carried away. [FINAL CHORUS — KEY LIFT, MASSIVE FEMALE HARMONIES] BAD LUCK LOOKS GOOD ON ME! A STITCHED-UP CELEBRITY! Two left feet but a heart that beats, NOW THE WHOLE DAMN GRAVEYARD MOVES WITH ME! BAD LUCK LOOKS GOOD ON ME! NO REFUNDS, NO GUARANTEES! From my crooked crown to my giant feet— I'M THE BEST BAD IDEA YOU'LL EVER MEET! [FINAL CROWD CHANT — THUNDEROUS CLUB BEAT] HEAD! SHOULDERS! KNEES! TOES! NOBODY KNOWS WHERE THE NEXT PART GOES! STITCH! SWITCH! SHAKE! REPEAT! FRANKENSTEIN'S GOT THE MONSTER BEAT! [BACKING ENSEMBLE — FINAL SHOUT] FREAK IS AMONG US! [OUTRO — ALL INSTRUMENTS CUT] [NICK — CALM NEWSCASTER VOICE] In conclusion... I'd like to thank my donors. [CANDY] And the tailor, sweetheart. [NICK] Especially the tailor. [ONE FINAL RECORD SCRATCH — HARD STOP]