THE CHEF FROM HELL'S KITCHEN

[INTRO – MUSIC BOX, WARPED WALTZ, WHISPERED VOICE] Soup of the day... A little surprise... Today's special... IS STILL ALIVE! [VERSE 1 – DEEP THEATRICAL BARITONE, CROOKED CABARET] Welcome, welcome, take a seat, We serve the fingers with the meat! The soup is hot, the chef is mad, The finest meal you've ever had! A little salt, a little scream, A dancing sausage in your dream! The waiter smiles, the candles bend, We serve you first... YOU'RE NEXT, MY FRIEND! [ABRUPT STOP – SINGLE PIANO NOTE] Bon appétit! [BREAKCORE EXPLOSION – DISTORTED BRASS AND GUITARS] [PRE-CHORUS – OPERATIC BUILD] STIR IT! SHAKE IT! MAKE IT SCREAM! WELCOME TO THE KILLING CUISINE! [CHORUS – HUGE GANG VOCALS, CIRCUS METAL] EAT! EAT! EAT UNTIL YOU DROP! THE DEVIL'S COOKING AND HE WON'T STOP! HOT! HOT! STRAIGHT FROM THE FLAME! EVERY DISH KNOWS YOUR NAME! CHOP! CHOP! RING THAT BELL! FIVE-STAR DINING DOWN IN HELL! EAT! EAT! WHAT A DELIGHT! YOUR LAST SUPPER STARTS TONIGHT! [POST-CHORUS – CHILDLIKE CHOIR] Yummy, yummy! HA! HA! HA! One more finger! LA! LA! LA! [VERSE 2 – RAPID-FIRE CABARET, ACCORDION] The carrots dance, the onions cry, The chicken's learned to multiply! The gravy crawls across the floor, The meatballs crawl beneath the door! The chef wears seven different hats, His kitchen's full of talking rats! The menu bites, the waiter flees, THE CHEESE HAS GROWN SOME HUMAN TEETH! [GLITCH STOP] Wait... WHO ORDERED THE CHEESE? [DEMENTED LAUGHTER] [INSTRUMENTAL SOLO – VIRTUOSIC FIDDLE, ACCORDION, BREAKCORE DRUMS] [OPERATIC INTERLUDE – GRAND CHOIR] O MAMMA MIA! O MIO DIO! THE PASTA'S ALIVE! AND IT'S LEARNING TO DRIVE! [BREAKDOWN – HALF-TIME METAL, DEEP GANG SHOUTS] PLATE! FORK! LOCK THE DOOR! SOUP! STEAK! TOO LATE! CHEF! CHEF! WHAT'S FOR TEA? YOUR OWN FACE! ON A PLATE! [COMPLETE SILENCE] [SOFT WHISPER] Would you care for dessert? [ONE SECOND OF SILENCE] [SCREAMING CHOIR AND FULL BREAKCORE DROP] [FINAL CHORUS – MAXIMUM CHAOS] EAT! EAT! EAT UNTIL YOU DROP! THE DEVIL'S COOKING AND HE WON'T STOP! HOT! HOT! STRAIGHT FROM THE FLAME! EVERY DISH KNOWS YOUR NAME! CHOP! CHOP! RING THAT BELL! FIVE-STAR DINING DOWN IN HELL! EAT! EAT! WHAT A DELIGHT! YOUR LAST SUPPER STARTS TONIGHT! [FINAL CHANT – CROWD, DISTORTED CALLIOPE] CHEF! CHEF! MAKE IT HOT! CHEF! CHEF! GIVE US THE LOT! CHEF! CHEF! ONE MORE BITE! [ABRUPT STOP] [WHISPERED BARITONE] The bill... is your soul. [ONE CROOKED PIANO CHORD] [END]