[Verse 1] I keep your number pinned above my bed Like a verdict I can’t turn away I rehearse the joke you didn’t laugh at Then apologize for taking up the day I cancel plans to wait beside the phone Call it patience, call it being kind You say “you’re fine” and I collect the words Like they could pay the rent inside my mind [Pre-Chorus] Every yes I give you costs me something Every no gets swallowed before it’s said [Chorus] I’m spending my life for a little approval Borrowing your eyes to decide what I’m worth I bend till the shape of me’s barely familiar Then blame my own heart when it breaks under the work Say my name like you mean it, and I’ll stay till I’m empty Say you’re disappointed, I’ll crawl back once more I keep feeding the hunger that’s eating my living And still I come asking for a little bit more [Verse 2] Missed the train with your coat in my hands You were late, but I said it was my fault Told my sister I was busy again While your silence rang louder than her call I trade sleep for a sentence from you Trade my paycheck for a weekend away Then you leave your cup beside the sink And I’m the one who cleans up what you say [Pre-Chorus] Every yes I give you costs me something I can feel the small refusals turning red [Chorus] I’m spending my life for a little approval Borrowing your eyes to decide what I’m worth I bend till the shape of me’s barely familiar Then blame my own heart when it breaks under the work Say my name like you mean it, and I’ll stay till I’m empty Say you’re disappointed, I’ll crawl back once more I keep feeding the hunger that’s eating my living And still I come asking for a little bit more [Breakdown] No more waiting by the phone No more calling need devotion I can love you, I can leave I can let my own voice reach me [Final Chorus] I won’t spend my life for a little approval I’m done using your eyes to decide what I’m worth I’m learning the shape of the self I abandoned And calling it home when I stand on this earth Say my name like you mean it—I’ll hear it within me Your disappointment can stay at your door I won’t keep feeding the hunger that’s eating my living I’m taking my hands off the handle once more [Outro] My hands off the handle My feet on the floor I am not an apology I am worth more
