The Smooth Side of Slow

Neo-Soul, Smooth Jazz, Lo-fi Lounge, Deep Baritone Male Vocals, Relaxed Tempo, Scatting, Mouth Trumpet, Chill, Suave, Lethargic, Lazy Vocals, Breathy Baritone

V4.5-ALL

[Intro: A very slow, groovy bassline enters]
[Sound of a deep, relaxed yawn]
[Bammer: Spoken, sounding incredibly cool and sleepy]
Hey... is the mic on? Cool. Bianca’s still shouting about Freud... Tarz’s tail is doing that thing again. I’m just gonna... sit here. Maybe make some noises. Don't mind me. I'm nice.
[Verse 1]
Black fur shining like the grease on a gear
I’m the muscle of the crew, but I got nothing to fear
I’m sweet as a donut, innocent and kind
With a couple of clouds floating 'round in my mind
I’m well-meaning, darling, but the thought process?
It’s a bit of a beautiful, lethargic mess
I’m leaning on the curtain while the comedians rant
I’d tell you the plan, but I probably can’t.
[Pre-Chorus]
I’m cool as a vacuum, suave as the light
Waiting for my turn in the middle of the night
[Improv Sound: Mouth-trumpet "Wah-wah-waaaaah"]
Oh, was that loud? Sorry, man. Just got bored.
[Chorus]
He’s Bammer, the singer with the sleepy soul
A heavy-weight heart in a suave control
He’s the muscle in the room, but he’s mostly just nice
He’ll give you a hug, but he won't give advice
[Scatting: Shoobee-doo-wop, zzzzzzzzzzz...]
Lethargic and lovely, the king of the slow
Watch him... wait, where’d he go?
[Verse 2]
[Tempo stays slow while the background comedy club sounds continue]
Bianca’s doing puns, I’m just humming a tune
I think I saw a moth, or maybe the moon?
Questionable logic, but my intentions are gold
I’m too chill for the drama, or so I’ve been told
I’ll stand by the door, lookin’ big and lookin’ smooth
While my random mouth-sounds put the crowd in a groove
[Improv Sound: Click-cluck-pop-whistle]
That one was for the kitchen staff.
[Bridge: Suave Solo]
[Smooth saxophone solo that Bammer interrupts with vocal improv]
[Bammer]: [Vocalizing: Beep-bop-boop-ba-dap] Yeah... that feels right.
Hey Rowdy, you got any of those simulated tacos?
I forgot why I’m holding this mic.
Is it a snack? No?
Okay.
[Chorus]
He’s Bammer, the singer with the sleepy soul
A heavy-weight heart in a suave control
He’s the muscle in the room, but he’s mostly just nice
He’ll give you a hug, but he won't give advice
[Scatting: Do-wop-da-dap-lazy-day...]
Lethargic and lovely, the king of the slow
Just let him be, man. Let him go.
[Outro: Spoken]
[Music fades to a single bass note]
Okay, Bianca’s done.
Wait, was I supposed to go on stage now?
Or next Tuesday?
Eh... I’ll just close my eyes for a second.
[Sound of a heavy thud as he leans against the wall]
Stay cool, everybody.
[Deep, rhythmic snoring begins]
[End]

2536/7500

[Intro: A very slow, groovy bassline enters] [Sound of a deep, relaxed yawn] [Bammer: Spoken, sounding incredibly cool and sleepy] Hey... is the mic on? Cool. Bianca’s still shouting about Freud... Tarz’s tail is doing that thing again. I’m just gonna... sit here. Maybe make some noises. Don't mind me. I'm nice. [Verse 1] Black fur shining like the grease on a gear I’m the muscle of the crew, but I got nothing to fear I’m sweet as a donut, innocent and kind With a couple of clouds floating 'round in my mind I’m well-meaning, darling, but the thought process? It’s a bit of a beautiful, lethargic mess I’m leaning on the curtain while the comedians rant I’d tell you the plan, but I probably can’t. [Pre-Chorus] I’m cool as a vacuum, suave as the light Waiting for my turn in the middle of the night [Improv Sound: Mouth-trumpet "Wah-wah-waaaaah"] Oh, was that loud? Sorry, man. Just got bored. [Chorus] He’s Bammer, the singer with the sleepy soul A heavy-weight heart in a suave control He’s the muscle in the room, but he’s mostly just nice He’ll give you a hug, but he won't give advice [Scatting: Shoobee-doo-wop, zzzzzzzzzzz...] Lethargic and lovely, the king of the slow Watch him... wait, where’d he go? [Verse 2] [Tempo stays slow while the background comedy club sounds continue] Bianca’s doing puns, I’m just humming a tune I think I saw a moth, or maybe the moon? Questionable logic, but my intentions are gold I’m too chill for the drama, or so I’ve been told I’ll stand by the door, lookin’ big and lookin’ smooth While my random mouth-sounds put the crowd in a groove [Improv Sound: Click-cluck-pop-whistle] That one was for the kitchen staff. [Bridge: Suave Solo] [Smooth saxophone solo that Bammer interrupts with vocal improv] [Bammer]: [Vocalizing: Beep-bop-boop-ba-dap] Yeah... that feels right. Hey Rowdy, you got any of those simulated tacos? I forgot why I’m holding this mic. Is it a snack? No? Okay. [Chorus] He’s Bammer, the singer with the sleepy soul A heavy-weight heart in a suave control He’s the muscle in the room, but he’s mostly just nice He’ll give you a hug, but he won't give advice [Scatting: Do-wop-da-dap-lazy-day...] Lethargic and lovely, the king of the slow Just let him be, man. Let him go. [Outro: Spoken] [Music fades to a single bass note] Okay, Bianca’s done. Wait, was I supposed to go on stage now? Or next Tuesday? Eh... I’ll just close my eyes for a second. [Sound of a heavy thud as he leans against the wall] Stay cool, everybody. [Deep, rhythmic snoring begins] [End]

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